Economics Politics

Government defends the 1 Billion SGR Grass

The grass along the SGR tracks that cost Kenya 1 billion is no ordinary grass, according to the revelations made by the Ministry of Transport, Infrastructure, Housing, Urban Development and Public Works CS James Macharia.

In the newly availed documents related to the SGR contract, it has emerged that Kenya is home to one of the most expensive grass in the world! Costing a whooping KES 1 billion, the grass is a rare species of grass that was developed in a special lab in the Wuhan city of China, and patented as a product for Kenya, said the CS.

Currently, Kenya holds the patent to the grass and is expected to make up to 12 billion every year in licensing other countries that want to grow the special grass.

The grass has been known to attract visitors who board the SGR train just to have a glimpse of it, while cargo transported using the train along the grass receive 3 month extension in shelf life, a further indicator of the magic in the grass.

Among other features, CS Macharia said that the grass is self watering and self mowing, cutting on the cost of irrigation and maintenance. He further added that the second batch of grass that was used on the Nairobi – Naivasha section of the SGR was an improved version of the previous type, which possesses the magical ability to not only mow itself, but also bale itself into hay!

Even animals in the Nairobi and Tsavo national parks have benefit from the grass as it has magical healing effect. One Wildebeest that had its leg cut off by a crocodile received instant healing when it fed on the grass. A giraffe that died after being hit by a train came to life when it landed on the same grass.

The grass also helps propel the train, reducing fuel consumption by up to 50 %, hence Kenya does not need electric trains as ours are already very green.

You can see that the 1 billion paid was actually a steal!

Cut out the middleman by joining our Telegram Channel below.


This is PostaMate notification channel. We bring to you the best of satire.