In life, strategy is key. However, execution is what matters most, and a man from Siaya knew that it was time to execute when dowry negotiations quickly went South in Kiambu.
Coronavirus has led to cancellation of many activities and events. Social media has been full of people complaining of how they have had to cancel flights which they had not even booked. Others claim that they are quarantined in the same country they have lived in the last 47 years. It seems that Corona Virus is getting more credit than it had requested.
But it was a man in Kiambu who stretched the whole thing too far during some dowry negotiations. The young man had led a delegation from Siaya County to negotiate for his dowry in Limuru, hoping that they would get a soft landing as part of the Building Bridges Initiative.
The dowry negotiations started well, with the usual push and pull tactics. The gates were closed, they had to sing on arrival, lesos were shared out and money for food had been sent. The day would end up just fine.
But the devil is known to show up at the most peaceful time. When the elders met at the negotiation table, the demands were straightforward. The senior uncle from bride’s side told the delegation from Siaya that they needed to put everything they had brought on the table, because transparency is a virtue in the 21st Century.
The man’s delegation was startled. They knew it was a trap. But the lady’s side insisted that since they are God fearing people, they just wanted them to give everything they had planned to give, with no need for negotiations and small fights. The groom obliged.
They put together all their money and put it on the table. Money from the groom, contributions from relatives and friends who had accompanied them, and even the money they had been told to spare as Wazees and Mamas would demand something at the end of the day. A total of 656,900 shillings was put on the table. They had made their statement.
The senior uncle stood up, received the money, and thanked them for showing commitment to the whole process. He said that the money they had given was for ‘opening the table,’ and now they can start the negotiations officially.
A loud silence ensued. Jaws dropped. The time bomb started to tick.
The groom to be picked his phone and went straight to his car, while typing something on WhatsApp. He pulled out a box containing more than a dozen surgical masks, and quickly came back and started distributing them to his team from Siaya. Everybody was now scared, and they checked the dowry WhatsApp group for directions.
The message was there. They said one of the lady’s uncles had arrived that morning from China for the dowry negotiations. They all could identify the silent man who had sneezed several times.
The Siaya team got up quickly, got into their cars, and drove off towards Limuru town. They were not going to risk their lives at any cost, and they did not want the virus.
They promised not to go back in the next five years.
PostaMate is a satirical publication by PostaMate Media. Read more HERE