Former Sports Cabinet Secretary and current friend of the DCI Rashid Echesa has mysteriously lost all ability to speak the German language.
In what could become a trend in Kenya were people lose all the ability to can, especially to can the German language, Echesa found himself unable to utter a German word, as multiple files bearing his name continue to be opened at the DCI headquarters.
So grave is the problem that a simple Gutten morgen was met with a blank stare from the man who has previously spoken fluent German, often requiring a translator to help communicate to his villagers back in Mumias. Currently, he has maintained silence and wore a very apologetic face as he waited for the detectives to serve him some ugali and boiled beans.
Asked what was happening, Echesa reported, “I have always assumed that German is like Reggae – it can’t stop. Now I have to live with a strange version of me that no one wants, no one understands and no one cares about. All my friends do not understand what I am saying and the only friends I have left are in the streets.”
He added, “This is the worst thing that can happen, and I would not want to wish it upon my worst enemy. Losing ability to speak German is like losing a loved one.”
Unfortunately for Echesa, unlike others who have gone before him, he never had the ability to speak English and Kiswahili, only speaking German and Wanga language. The loss of German language thus leaves him dangerously exposed and wanting in relevance until he can learn another trade language.
Meanwhile, DCI officers were spotted buying several dozens of files at a bookshop along Kiambu road. It is expected that more of them will be opened.
PostaMate is a satirical publication by PostaMate Media. Read more HERE