Governance Politics

Why the BBI is the Saviour of Kenyans

The genius president of the republic of Kenya, HE Uhuru Kenyatta, will go down as the greatest human to have graced our lifetime, thanks to his BBI initiative.

You see, almost every other African leader is known to be in absolute out of touch with the plight of the common man. But hail our president in his wisdom, we now have this document christened Building Bridges Initiative.

The BBI seeks to address perennial issues that have plagued Kenyans since independence, which include but aren’t limited to:

Corruption

  • The land questions
  • Joblessness
  • Tribalism
  • Nepotism

Here is how the BBI silver bullet seeks to redress each of the above issues.

Corruption

A few years ago, we had Bishop Eliud Wabukala take over as the chair at the dying Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission (EACC). The man of cloth has been overworking and has managed to breath new lease of life into the commission. Asked how he managed to pull it off, he confided in our reporters that he has been using prayers to fight corruption.

President Kenyatta has asked the EACC to focus on praying for the corrupt, as he sees this as the only viable way to end corruption. After openly admitting that he did not know what to do about corruption, he has finally found something to do, and this will be included in the BBI.

The Land Question

The policy of willing buyer willing seller is fully entrenched in the Building Bridges Initiative.

Those who do not own land are urged to embrace saving up and buy their own parcels. Otherwise it’s no use spending all their lives lamenting.

Joblessness

Jobless youths need to mature up and pursue alternative employment avenues, as opposed to hawking their CVs all over like headless chicken! Times have changed. Lots of civic education will be done under the BBI to help the lazy, jobless youths begin thinking!

Tribalism

The BBI in its depth will ensure that there is creation of tribal based positions in all corners of government, and with that all the communities will have their man representing them.

Simple.

Cut out the middleman by joining our Telegram Channel below.

PostaMate

This is PostaMate notification channel. We bring to you the best of satire.