A conspiracy theory that 5G is the cause of Covid-19 has quickly been debunked after the Alliance of witches and wizards came to its defense.
In what started with rumors being spread by famous celebrities whose popularity is inversely proportional to their wit, many people around the world have been worried that the 5G network which is supposed to solve the ‘I cannot hear,’ ‘waiting for WiFI connection’ and ‘video is buffering’ problems has turned out to be their killer.
Luckily, this conspiracy did not see the first sunset. Witches and Wizards have disclosed that they have been using 5G for thousands of years and the world has just been OK.
“We are forced to disclose our working secret and let people know that we have used 5G successfully for thousands of years, and no one has died. I mean, people have died, but not as a side effect of 5G, but as actual targets. 5G does not kill, unless it is used to kill. That is more like your kitchen knife.”
The disclosure by the group now rests all fears that the world is just about to be annihilated by China using 5G, and shows that Donald Trump is not the hero we had thought him to be by banning Huawei.
After disclosing their secret tool of trade, witches are now moving to 8G until the world can catch up with them in 2050.
PostaMate is a satirical publication by PostaMate Media. Read more HERE