GoK Competing with Floods, Locusts and Covid-19 in Annihilating Kenyans

The Government of Kenya has reaffirmed its position as the leading threat to the people of Kenya after it emerged the front runner in the race with locusts, floods and Covid-19 to annihilate Kenyans.

The government which had been falling behind in the last two weeks after the police decided to minimize the number of people they kill during the curfew made a strong comeback with the Kariobangi evictions, with reports that hundreds of the evictees were expected to die from hunger, stress, pneumonia and other related complications occasioned by their evictions. This move alone sent the government on top of the killings table and standings, beating locusts, floods, landslides and Covid-19 with a huge margin.

The move to demolish hundreds of houses in Kariobangi has received widespread criticism from both the friends and enemies of the government, but the government maintained that the move was within the law and part of the normal government operations. “This is simply government being government,” said government spokesperson Col. (Rtd) Cyrus o. Oguna.

“The presence of the government must be felt by all. We have realized that floods, locusts and Covid-19 are stealing the show and we cannot sit back and watch non-governments beat the government in doing government stuff. We will strike and strike again.”

He further warned that the government would not hesitate to arrest the people evicted from Kariobangi if they flout social distancing rules in an attempt to keep warm at night. “We are serious about this matter and we will not relent until the people of Kenya admit that government is government.”

RIP Kenya.

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