In what is yet another twist to the year that 2020 has been, The Marvel Cinematic Universe yesterday announced that they shall soon be unveiling a new superhero called ‘TWITTER PERSON’ whose superpower is to only use short catch-phrases to viciously attack anyone who disagrees with them.
Speaking at a press conference in their New York headquarters, the company’s editor-in-chief; Chester B. Cebulski, said that the Superhero has the power to use only 280 characters to tell one side of a story & then viciously attack & call anyone who seeks clarification a ‘closed-minded bigot who does not respect him/herself.’
“We are still not very sure where TWITTER PERSON fits in in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but this is because ze (that’s the pronoun) does not fit into any of society’s preconceived ideas,” the editor-in-chief reported. “However, what we know is that TWITTER PERSON hates billionaires (except when they donate at least 100,000 million dollars to climate change charities), loves the truth (except when it’s a politician saying it) and hates all capitalist societies (especially the ones that give them a free market to start businesses and make their own money).”
At printing time, it had been announced that Marvel would next be announcing more superheroes, such as FACEBOOK BEING with the power of reminding you of embarrassing things you said in your DM’s 10 years ago, as well as a new team of Avengers called TIKTOK HUMANKIND who have the power to show you short, funny videos while also stealing your personal information & data.
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