Panic as Skyplasts Make their Way into Kilimani and Lavington

Residents of Kilimani in Nairobi are calling for government intervention after an influx of skyplasts into the formerly coveted neighborhood.

The black piece of water container which comes in varied sizes to meet different poverty levels is the most distinct hardware in any home in Nairobi. For many years, it has been limited to the people who live above the Nairobi poverty line of KShs 65 a day but not rich enough to hide their poverty. This includes the semi I-have-made-it residents of Donholm, Nyayo, South B, Buru Buru, Kimathi and Kasarani. Also included are the tuko-tu-sawa residents of Umoja, Dandora and Githurai.

It is a revolution happening in Nairobi and in the life of the most common household object in the city. At the moment, the number of skyplasts in the city outnumber toilets and taps by a huge margin. This confirms a study done by Mt Kenya University which confirmed that the ‘No human is limited’ slogan can be differentiated to ‘No thing is limited.’ For Skyplast, the sky is the limit.

Aiming for the Balconies

An interview with a skyplast representative revealed a premeditated takeover.

While a shortcut to Kilimani was created when handwashing facilities were introduced, the game plan is quite different. “These small handwashing containers you meet at the gates an on the roadsides are not the dream that we have had. Our focus is the balconies. Currently, we are in 51.3% of all balconies in Kilimani and 48% in Kileleshwa. We are taking our rightful positions.”

Future of Skyplast

Next target? Gazebos.

It is not just Kilimani and Lavington that will make skyplast reach the apex of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Runda is within reach. Estimates point to a takeover in the next 18 – 24 months, after which the grand plan to take over Muthaiga will be launched. It will messy, but it will happen.

Cut out the middleman by joining our Telegram Channel below.


This is PostaMate notification channel. We bring to you the best of satire.