It has now emerged that the Mightiest Prophet Dr David Owuor is the man behind the Russian Vaccine that was announced this week.
The world has been searching for prophet Owuor for some time now, and many have accused him of hiding when the world needs him most. It turns out that the good old prophet decided not to run away from the virus, but to deal with it in a familiar way.
The medical scientist who is known more for doom and gloom than anything else has been busy in his lab researching on a way to deal with the corona virus. In an interview, Owuor admitted that he realized that his traditional way of healing people could not work with Covid-19 due to scaling challenges.
“I was planning to lay hands on everybody to get healed, but this proved to be a logistics nightmare. With millions of people suffering from Covid-19, I lack the time and resources to lay hands on them faster than they die, so I opted to work on a vaccine that people can use.”
Thanks to his Masters in Genetics degree and a doctorate in Biochemical Genetics, Prophet Owuor was able to sequence the DNA of the novel corona virus on a piece of serviette while having dinner, then went ahead create the vaccine by mixing his breakfast lemon with a special ingredient which we will not bother to mention because you do not even know what Moronic acid is.
After this invention which does not need any testing because that is none of Prophet’s business, Owuor had not time to go around marketing and distributing this because he is busy saving the world. That is why he approached Russia to take credit and work on the distribution of the vaccine.
Prophet Owuor has come through for the world! Now it is time for Russia to do the dirty work of distribution.
PostaMate is a satirical publication by PostaMate Media. Read more HERE