International

Buhari: Solution to Police Brutality is more Police Brutality

As young Nigerians continue to protest against police brutality, the government thinks that the solution to protests against police brutality is more police brutality.

In what turns out to be the most efficient way of dealing with protesters, the Nigerian government has realized that killing all protesters would lead to the immediate end of protests because there would be nobody left to protest.

“We understand that our young people are being killed by SARS but protest is not the solution as it is hurting our economy. We expect them to be tough and not die when killed by SARS. Instead, they are here protesting and demonstrating, making Nigeria ungovernable,” said Garba Shehu, the Official Spokesperson to the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

The government went ahead to say that it will use all the police brutality possible to end the current demonstration against police brutality, citing the well known dictatorial philosophy that governments are sustained by the rule of secret police and not law.

The government’s resolution will be hard to implement because if they manage to kill all the protesters, they will be left with no one to rule over. “They need to know that a king without subject is no better than a mad man who inscribes the word ‘darkness’ on the ground in order to intimidate the sun. If we protest, they kill us as protesters and if we do not, SARS still shows up and kills us. Are they going to rule over stones?”