Religion

John Pesa: “You Get the Sermon that you Pay for”

You are probably reading this from a cheap android smartphone, thinking that Father John Pesa is a category six idiot. Well, we have some news for you, because the real idiots could be you who spends 3 hours online while Father John Pesa is busy building his name (or in a language that you may understand, making money).

After the famous sermon at Deputy President’s resident where he claimed that Solomon killed Goliath, Father John Pesa became instantly famous, but what many people do not know is that he said that on purpose.

An interview with the Kisumu based preacher revealed that John Pesa is a man who delivers strictly under his own terms and conditions. You get what you pay for.

In an interview with PostaMate, John Pesa said that he was not even talking about King Solomon, but someone totally different. “I was talking about the Dark Lord Sauron who caused the biggest mess in Middle Earth. Mid way, I realized that ignorant Kenyans do not know about Sauron, and so I used a familiar word, Solomon.”

In the other part of the sermon which no one watched because everyone was only interested in making fun of the man whose net worth is 112 times that of an average doctor in Kenya, John Pesa had talked about the all seeing eye of Sauron, and how eventually a hustler destroyed the all-powerful Dark Lord.

“I was not reading from the Bible. The money involved was not enough to venture into the Bible, and so I ventured into the less familiar Lord of the Rings which I coauthored with a white man in my previous life. Kenyans can’t het it.”

Let’s respect Father Pesa.