The job hopes of a young Kenyan man imploded after he applied to the last registered company in Kenya, exhausting all possible prospects.
This was the anticlimactic end to his job search, having sent his CV—formatted in Times New Roman, no less—to over 450,000 registered companies, from multinational giants to roadside kiosks in Dandora.
Fresh from college, armed with a degree, grit, and a spreadsheet of every registered company in Kenya, Joe believed getting a job was a numbers game: the more applications, the better the odds. No one warned him of the soul-crushing void that awaited when he ran out of options. “I spent months compiling contacts, even for that shady barbershop in Pipeline,” he sighed.
“I never imagined retiring from job hunting before landing a job,” he said. “I wish I hadn’t been so quick to apply, but it’s too late now. I’m forced into phase two of my life—whatever that is. For starters, I’m moving from Lower Kabete to Kayole, where my CV will probably end packaging groundnuts.”
The experience has been grueling. Joe rarely received acknowledgment emails, and only twice got regret emails—one addressed to “Dear [Insert Name Here].” He was shortlisted for an interview once, but it was canceled due to Covid-19, after which the company laid off half its staff.“
You’d be surprised how many don’t know Gmail has a 2,000-email-per-day limit,” he said. “I stuck to that rule, dragging out the process over 250 days. I also spent my life savings—KSh 50,000—buying a dusty ledger of email addresses from the registrar, half of which were ‘info@company.co.ke’ bounces.”
