Man Celebrates One Year of Pretending to Send Offering via M-PESA

As the remote church turns one year old this month, so are the habits and new sins that have resulted from the existence of the same.

We caught up with one man who since the beginning of the pandemic, has never given any offering, tithe, gifts or any type of giving in church, although he conveniently makes it appear like he is doing s through mobile money.

Since the pandemic, the man has taken advantage of use of mobile money to avoid making eye contact with the offering basket or the ushers. Instead, he gets his phone and pretends to be sending to the church Paybill Number, until the offertory session is over. This is an art he has perfected.

“It was hard to ignore the ushers during the pre-pandemic days. Nowadays we are all going cashless and the usher gives a benefit of doubt and moves on. This has saved me so much money because I have not given any money in the last one year.”

The trick works just fine. Normally, he gets his phone and plays about with the M-PESA menu without sending any money. However, when he has run out of cares, he even takes the opportunity to play a short game to kill the awkward moment.

This would have gone unnoticed, but recently, the church recorded zero income from mobile money payment platforms. Questions now are being raised, but the man is unmoved. He celebrates one year of pretending to send offering via M-PESA.

Cut out the middleman by joining our Telegram Channel below.


This is PostaMate notification channel. We bring to you the best of satire.