Governance

Kenya Power Asks Kenyans to have Realistic Power Supply Expectations

Kenya Power is calling on Kenyans to set realistic expectations on power availability, arguing that a few entitled Kenyans are out to tarnish the good name of the corporation which is doing just fine.

Speaking during a conference on Smart Grids and Energy Systems, Kenya Power CEO said that the utility offers reasonably good services, way above what Kenyans deserve. He added that if Kenya Power sunk to the mediocrity of an average Kenyan, the country would receive power for only two days a month.

“You rarely service your car and often you have to call Njuguna because the car cannot start. You always run out of tissue paper in the house, something that requires zero memory and KShs 26 only. Your money cannot last until end of the month, which is why you have an urgent need of KShs 2000 at any given time. You are always late for meetings, including Zoom meetings. Your life is the epitome of disorganization. Yet, you want Kenya Power to be omnipresent in your life. You want power all the time. Give us a break!”

Adding to the voice was one leading businessman who sells power back up equipment in Nairobi. He said that Kenyans were unfairly criticizing the company when bigger problems lie elsewhere.

“Your hospitals have no drugs. Your government has no money. Your Member of Parliament has been missing since the last election. You rarely complain about all that but as soon as power is off you start saying switch off KPLC. This level of entitlement serves neither you nor Kenya Power. Life would be much easier if you shed off your narcistic tendencies.”

Kenya Power Makes life Cheap

Responding to a question on the high cost of power, Kenya Power also went guns blazing and asked Kenyans to think critically about what absence of Kenya Power would mean.

“An average home in Kenya pays less than KShs 1000 a month for power. If they were to run a generator, it would cost at least KShs 200 every evening. If they were to use candles, 3 candles a day would cost at least KShs 900 per month, and that is just for lighting. Even offices that only spend KShs 15000 on electricity bills a month spend KShs 2500 on generator a day. Clearly, the savior here is Kenya Power.”

He warned those wishing for the death of the company to be careful because sometimes wishes can come true. “Should Kenya Power die, you will remember us every day of your life. In fact, we urge all Kenyans to pray for the survival of Kenya Power because if it prospers, so shall you.”

Cut out the middleman by joining our Telegram Channel below.

PostaMate

This is PostaMate notification channel. We bring to you the best of satire.