Kenya to Quarantine Visitors from UK for 18 Months

Kenya will reciprocatively quarantine visitors from UK for a period of 18 months starting on 9th April 2021.

The move is a retaliation after the small island nation in the West of Europe issued a travel ban on Kenya due to the risk of new Covid-19 variants, yet it is UK which has its own Covid-19 variant and not Kenya. The Government of Kenya therefore opted to return the favor in a show of typical British kindness.

“Visitors who been in or transited through UK will be required to quarantine in a tourism facility for 18 months. This will be at their own cost, and we hope they will use the time to learn the colonial history of Kenya as well as see our wildlife.”

Kenyan Health Cabinet Secretary said that the move was informed by stupid policies that UK was using to restrict Kenyans from entering UK. “They are worried of new Covid-19 variants while they own the patent to the first variant. We allow them free entry and give them grounds to train their soldiers, but they end up burning a few elephants for fun. We even sent them flowers when their health sector was collapsing. In fact, they have only survived this far due to our prayers. It is time we revisited this parasitic friendship.”

Tourism Sector

The news of the 18-month British quarantine was welcomed by players in the tourism sectors who said that they will use the time well to milk the Pounds.

“We are assured of consistent revenue from this mandatory quarantine. This will be a major boost during this low season. The cost of quarantine will remain secret and if they are unable to pay, we might send them to work in sugar plantations in West Indies. They could also learn some local languages.”

Other business players said that the UK had waited for Kenya to sign a trade deal with them before denying Kenyans entry in to the UK, hence it was a fair move for Kenya to retaliate.