Politics

Zack Kinuthia Opens Up About Living with the Intellectual Capacity of a Mature Avocado Seed

Zack Kinuthia is a man of many lasts, including his intellectual capacity with has been shown to match that of a mature avocado seed.

He is the last man you would invite to share his mind on any topic, yet he still volunteers to speak. He is the last one you would expect to be appointed to a CAS position, but trust the president. Zack Kinuthia is always the last, but still a valuable resource in a country of lasts.

We sought to find out how life has been living with, or better, despite, the intellectual capacity of a mature avocado seed. As expected, he did not spare any details.

Avocado Seed Mindset

When asked how he got his job, he went straight to the point.

“I believe children should be allowed to choose their parents. This will promote responsible parenting because parents will not act like entitled providers. Let children vote, so that bad parents will end up with no children. We can even…”

We interrupted him and asked him to talk about his grand vision for the youth.

“The youth of this great nation must work hard so that BBI can do the rest. They do their best, BBI will do the rest. It will be a system where children and the elderly work hard so that the youth can thrive and flourish. Nobody can stop reggae, but we need the youth to start it. I see a country where the youth will be busy starting reggae. ReggaelizeIt.”

What about his work at the Ministry of Sports?

“As the CAS of the ministry of jokes, I firmly believe the hope for this country lies in jokes, not technology or education. We must keep playing the games. My team and I are on the ground and leading from the tail. This is what we stand for. This is the grand vision. We move forward.”

What do you do with a large avocado Seed?

While no one questions the intelligence of Zack Kinuthia, it is evident that Kenyans need to make use of this great mind, same way they innovatively use avocado seeds.

Unfortunately, the larger the avocado seed, the less attractive the whole avocado business becomes. While the seed of a young avocado is undesirable and has no intellect, the one of a mature avocado is no better. It occupies valuable space that should contain the real thing. In fact, the bigger the seed, the bigger the deception involved and the overall intelligence is still slightly below that of a bucket full of stones.

Now that Olympics is coming up, is it possible to have a contest for the person with the lowest IQ? Kenya could win a gold medal.

Watch Zack Kinuthia making use of avocado seed here.

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