IEBC Candidate Proposes Office-training Politicians by Pet Whisperers

IEBC interviewee left tongues wagging when he proposed that election candidates undergo classical Pavlovian conditioning under experienced pet trainers to deter them from engaging in corruption.

The lady from Western explained that dogs can be trained to control their natural urges through these methods and the same can be applied to politicians. “Some dogs know not to use the carpet as a toilet, the politicians can also learn not to use taxpayer’s money as toilet paper. It can be done; we have the technology.”

She also demanded that nobody be allowed to contest then 2022 elections until they are certified as office-trained by the KSPCA and KWS. “They must go to be domesticated first. We can’t trust our children in the paws of savage beasts. Prove to us that you won’t eat the money in the office. Get certified.”

The proposal was quickly criticized by serving and aspiring politician, many who questioned her understanding of politics in Kenya. “If they take away corruption, how shall we recover the money we spend on campaigns? Politics will become unsustainable!”

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