Client 13173

When the Pandora’s box was opened, client 13173 stuck out like a sore thumb.

A man who has spent all his sensible life threatening the corrupt was found to have been a direct beneficiary of corruption. Like any sensible person who is into banking, he had saved some money in a secret offshore account.

In a country whose first name is taxes, middle name is corruption and the last name is taxes, how can the tax in chief have secret offshore accounts?

The Mystical client 13173

We talked to this mystical client 13173 and one thing evident is that he has nothing to hide.

“I tried to warn Kenyans. During the campaigns, we carried red flags everywhere but nobody seemed to care. They said they wanted client 13173 with his less successful partner who had nothing to stash in offshore account.

Even before I was elected, Kenyans knew I had a few unfinished businesses. There was an empire to protect, and grow. There was land to secure. A case in the ICC was knocking. These are just some of the preexisting conditions. After that there was a personal legacy to build, then protect.”

Kenyans will Forget

Client 13173 is happy that Kenyans are blessed with the memory of a fruit fly, and will forget soon. Even if they do not forget, unemployment, drought, famine, poor healthcare and 2022 politics will give them other things to care about. That is how the cycle works.

“They already forgot about the 2 billion that is stolen every day. They forgot about the person who built an empire trading in ivory. Kenyans forgot about Goldenberg, anglo leasing and even the NYS scandal. We are still eating the plunder from the Ministry of Health but Kenyans have already moved on. The memory is our greatest advantage.”

Luckily, client 13173 will retire in less than a year, and after him will come one of his kind, but who is more ambitious and tenacious.

RIP Kenya.

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