Cameroonians Urged to be Thankful for Country’s Low Life Expectancy

Cameroon President Paul Biya has asked those frustrated with conflicts, poverty and lack of opportunities in the country to be grateful because they will not live long.

Speaking in the midst of a deepening Anglophone Crisis, increased poverty and a promise of eternal poor governance, Biya said that Cameroonians are lucky because they do not live long. Were they to live long, they would suffer for long, hence the blessing of short life expectancy afforded by the government. He argued that a short life full of misery is better than a long life full of the same.

“Tough times do not last. Neither will you. A short life expectancy will save you from a troublesome economy and conflict. That is the premise on which this government is founded on.

Biya said that the low life expectancy had lowered the level of suffering that Cameroonians experienced, just like Nigerians, and is better than many other potential options. “Imagine living through a Civil War for 80 years! Imagine being clobbered by the military for 92 years! Imagine carrying the shame of 87 years of joblessness? Be thankful for the short life that Cameron guarantees you.”