Governance

Kenya Meat Commission Appoints its first Vegan CEO

The Kenya Meat Commission has appointed a renowned vegan (name withheld due to fear of Social Media trolls) as it’s CEO.

The military led institution announced its new CEO who is expected to lead the company to greater success after the military jumpstarted the formally dead company. However, questions on the logic of appointing someone who not only doesn’t eat animal products, but even distrusts those who do were not raised since the military had their guns present when making the announcement.

However, in a closed-door interview, KMC’s CEO was confident that his appointment was the right thing.

The new CEO said that his lifestyle and personal choices would not in any way interfere with the success of the company. “My beef with beef is a moral position, not an economic one. Although I believe that human beings should keep their hands of all animal products, there is an exception in cases where money involved. The enemy is poverty.”

The CEO further added that Kenya Meat Commission is not a consumer of animal products, hence has a clean bill of health. “KMC does not eat meat; we only sell meat. The problem is you who is killing rabbits and even go ahead to cook them with carrots.”

Cooking Profits

The Kenya Meat Commission recently made a profit after more than 70 years of operation. This is after it was handed over to the military by President Uhuru Kenyatta to appease the soldiers after a series of contagious military coups started taking place in Africa.

Under the new CEO, the company is expected to come up with a long-term sustainability plan where it can continue to make profits without getting animals killed.

One Kenyan interviewed said that there was nothing wrong with appointing a vegan to lead KMC because it is like appointing a politician to lead a country.

Cut out the middleman by joining our Telegram Channel below.

PostaMate

This is PostaMate notification channel. We bring to you the best of satire.