Politics

Wajackoyah’s Rising Political Star Could Force Raila and Ruto to Unite

The political elites might be forced back to the drawing board after it was revealed that the previously unknown Professor George Wajackoyah commands 16% of all Kenyan votes.

Both William Ruto and Raila Odinga have expressed concern that the wind of Wajackoyah is blowing wild and they are willing to do everything to stop him – including uniting to block his ascent to State House.

“Wajackoyah is rising like some form of smoke,” said Ruto’s left hand man Farouk Kibet. “I have talked to Oduor Ong’wen and we have agreed that to do something radical if circumstances dictate.”

It is said that the two leading candidates could end up losing to Wajackoyah if statistics are anything to go by. “Eight weeks ago, Wajackoyah’s popularity was only 1%. Two weeks later it moved to 4%. A month ago it was 8% and today it is 16%. At this rate, it will be 32% at the end of June and by mid-July the guy will be making rolls to celebrate his victory. He must be stopped.”

The Third Roll

Previously unknown, Wajackoyah has taken Kenya by surprise, with his popularity growing day by day. Although his supporters were limited to a few isolated pockets such as Luanda, Juja, Mulot, Runyenjes, Tala, Kawai, Sena, Kakuma and Kiganjo, his popularity continues to grow exponentially. Experts predict that he will command 50% of the votes by mid-July.

Wajackoyah’s star has further been boosted by the absence of Kenya Sex Party candidate Kingwa Kamencu who also commands substantial followers in Kenya. Kingwa’s absence is to allow for Kenyans to catch up with her futuristic strategies.

Wajackoyah’s main selling point is that he is not a thief. He still faces the challenge of getting his followers to vote on the election day.

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