Education

Kenya’s Education System Set to Collapse on 23rd January 2023

Experts have warned that the Competence Based Curriculum (CBC) that is currently undergoing live trials in Kenya is on track to collapse on 23rd January 2023, if everything goes according to plans.

The news, which turns out to be common knowledge to everybody except the Ministry of Education, says that if the status quo is maintained, CBC will eventually grind to a halt since no one knows what to do with the thing past 23rd January 2023.

“Nobody knows what to do with students come January 2023. The government does not know. The parents do not know. The headteachers do not know where to host the students. Even the syllabus is silent. We can wish the day never comes but that would be too ambitious.”

The news of the impending collapse did not shock anyone, as familiar warning signs had already been identified.

Bubble gum of Parent Homework

The significant academic part that parents play in the success of CBC is also turning out to be a risk.

It was noted that CBC is largely held together by the sellotape of parents doing the home work, something that will not be there in secondary schools. This is a major constrain that means that teachers may choose to dust the old 8:4:4 books and continue as if they never left. “No one sees it coming, but once the parents are out of the equation, it will be a free fall for the CBC. Luckily, teachers have the 8:4:4 system in their muscle memory.”

The cost of the syllabus might also lead to its early death, considering that Kenyans are likely to become poorer in the next few months as corruption increases to recoup money spent in election campaigns.

Government Position

On its part, the Ministry of Education threatened those who are prophesying the fall of CBC, saying that in the likely even that the prediction turns out to be true, the prophets of doom will be held responsible for the failure of the curriculum. “We have heard those stories and I want to assure Kenyans that those pointing out the failures of this curriculum must be ready to take responsibility for all the failures and inactions of other stakeholders. We cannot allow a group of oracles or futurists to ruin the future of our children through accurate and uncomfortable predictions.”

Education CS further noted that given enough time, CBC can turn out to be good. “We need like 30 years to accumulate enough resources to streamline CBC. The arc of education reforms is long, but it bends towards book publishers. Give the thing time.”

Previously, the CS had asked overwhelmed parents to hire graduate househelps to help with the CBC, while those underwhelmed by the new syllabus to enroll their children in international schools, just like the top Ministry government officials.

postamate is a satirical publication

We create satire to keep people entertained, and thinking.