Rigathi Gachagua Vows to Dismantle all Fashion Cartels

Deputy President elect Rigathi Gachagua is off to a quick start, promising to deal with fashion cartels that have kept young Kenyans in perpetual poverty.

In his first presser, Rigathi Gachagua noted that one of the agents that Lords of Poverty have been using to reign over hustlers is fashion, noting that Kenyans are now buying small clothes at a higher cost in the name of fashion. He noted that fitting clothes are three times as expensive as normal clothes, yet they consume half the material of normal clothing.

He noted that the biggest problem is the Kenyans who discard old clothes. “You discard old clothes because they are faded or torn then you go ahead to buy new unfinished or dirty jeans. What degree of clowning is this? We must liberate Kenyans from this top-down buffoonery. It ends with this regime.”

Gachagua noted that many hustlers are living hand to mouth because they are busy chasing fashion which costs money, yet their primary need today is money. “Some young Kenyans are even stunting due to food deprivation, yet their goal is new clothes. Who has bewitched this country? Who has captured the state of their minds?”

Among the proposals fronted is the need to come up with a national dressing guideline that will regulate the minimal number of years that a piece of clothe should be worn, as well as the maximum number of clothes that a normal human being should possess. Even ladies with 48,968 pairs of shoes might not be spared. It is rumored that Gachagua might come up with one pair of shoes to rule them all.

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