Pedophile Association of Kenya gets Supreme Court nod for Registration

The Supreme Court of Kenya recently opened a can of worms after it ruled to allow for the registration of any group of people, even if the objective of the group violates the constitution of Kenya. The first worm to crawl out of the can is the Pedophile Association of Kenya.

Following the ruling, minor-attracted persons have argued that the ruling allows for the registration of their lobby group, with the NGO board expected to issue the group with a registration certificate in the coming weeks. The group has said that it would be unconstitutional to limit the right to associate, through denial of registration of an association, purely on the basis of the age of their sex partners.

“We are just normal people who are differently attracted to other human beings who lack numbers in terms of years. If society allows a 20-year-old girl to get married to an 83-year-old tycoon, there is no reason why a 25-year-old woman cannot date or marry a 10-year-old boy. Numbers are just a social construct and we need to move beyond this superficial hypocrisy.”

The society noted that many of its members continue to languish in jail for offenses that were committed between two consenting human beings. “Our vice chair is currently serving a 26-year jail term for impregnating a 12-year-old girl. Never mind the girl never complained about it and the parents were okay with the bride price which they received. He was a good man who always paid his taxes and regularly participated in the ‘nyumba kumi’ meetings. Don’t you see that good people are suffering while known thieves are roaming our streets and others elected to parliament?”

Muggers and Pickpockets

The Association of Muggers, Pickpockets and Thugs (AMPiT) has also declared intentions to get registered, saying that the Supreme Court has opened the door for any group to be registered, including those with criminal intent.

“We are honest men who work hard to provide for our addictions and compensate for our exclusion from the formal economy. We need a body to lobby for our interests and ensure that we are taken care of. Don’t you think that we also need to plan for retirement?”

The Association of Witches and Wizards in Kenya is yet to comment on the ruling.

Cut out the middleman by joining our Telegram Channel below.


This is PostaMate notification channel. We bring to you the best of satire.