Housing Fund Renamed to Mini Tithe to Enhance Compliance

The Government of Kenya has moved a notch higher in selling the Housing Fund idea, with the Housing and Urban Development Principal Secretary (PS) Charles Hinga renaming the House Fund to Mini Tithe in the hope that more Kenyans will buy the idea.

In the sermon delivered at State House grounds during a government crusade, the PS urged Kenyans to entrust 3.00000% of their income to the government, saying that the Ruto administration is preparing for them a place and will come back after seven years to reward everyone according to their connections. To make this possible, the government wants a mere mini tithe of 3% of gross income per month to make the dream a reality.

“We beseech you dear Kenyans. Give yourself fully to the government with a commitment of only 3% for the housing fund. We are building many rooms. If you do not get a bedsitter in one of those buildings, we might refund you the money. We will also give back all the interest earned, and we do not know how much that interest will be.”

Tithe up or Burn in Hell

Pressed further to explain the idea of the mini tithe, PS Hinga seemed to get angry and even warned those who think that they will escape the hell that the government is going to unleash on those who don’t pay their mini tithe.

“Kenyans are used to paying some form of tithe. Some pay 10 per cent in churches, others at the local pubs, and others for useless hobbies like bowling and fencing. We are only asking for 3%. For heaven’s sake, it is only 3%. Three per cent sio pesa ya kunyima serikali.”

"We are only asking for 3%. For heaven’s sake, it is only 3%. Three per cent sio pesa ya kunyima serikali." Click To Tweet

He added that they wanted to exploit the consciousness of God that is evident in all Kenyans in order to build a small heaven here on earth that Kenyan politicians will enjoy because for sure none of them will ever see the true heaven.

“Let us use the mini tithe to make heaven here in Kenya. With our coffers empty, tenderpreneurs will depend on this fund to survive for the next ten years as we repay our loans. The kickbacks will go a long way in ensuring that politicians don’t suffer financial embarrassment due to failure to meet their financial obligations”

In a related matter, Yesu wa Tongaren has contacted the competition authority seeking protection from unfair competition from the government.

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