The Government of Kenya has proposed reforms to the appointment process of Catholic Bishops, citing national security concerns as the reason for their involvement. In a letter addressed to Pope Francis, the Kenyan Government expressed worries that some current Bishops do not meet the standards outlined in Chapter Six of the constitution. They emphasized the […]
Expecting foolish Americans to attempt to migrate to Canada after Donald Trump won the election, Canada has moved with speed to build a 5-meter-tall wall along its 8000 km border with the US to stop the looming influx of dejected Americans. The move followed a realization that it was the end of the road for […]
Nairobi, Kenya – In a twist that has left football fans and political analysts equally bewildered, Musalia Mudavadi, the seasoned politician and current Prime Cabinet Secretary, was named Player of the Year at the recent Football Kenya Federation (FKF) awards gala. The announcement was met with a mix of applause, laughter, and sheer confusion as […]
In a groundbreaking discovery that has left theologians and historians scratching their heads, recent archeological evidence suggests that the Apostle Peter was holding an axe when Jesus famously asked Zacchaeus to come down from the sycamore tree. The discovery was made by a team of archeologists who were excavating what is believed to be the […]
Kenya Airways has asked passengers without luggage to consider alighting around Ngong,’ following the possibility that protesters might occupy JKIA. In a memo to travelers from London, New York, Cairo, Dubai, Mumbai, Amsterdam and Johannesburg, KQ said that it would make sense for passengers to ‘abandon plane’ the moment they spot Ngong’ hills and parachute […]
The Government of Kenya has announced the capture of a dreaded weapon of mouth destruction terrorist Gabriel Oguda following a secret national security operation. Terrorists from the anti-terror wing of the Kenya police swarmed into Gabriel Oguda’s home early Tuesday morning brandishing dictionaries and dangling participles in the hope that the terrorist would not cast […]
Gang leaders in the troubled Caribbean nation of Haiti have offered to send a strong force of 1000 members to restore law and order in the Kenya Police Service. This comes amid increasing police violence against peaceful protesters in Kenya. Haitian gang leader Jimmy Chérizier, alias ‘Barbecue’ said that he was concerned about the increasing […]
Kenyan politicians have warned that a threat to The Finance Bill 2024 is a threat to your safety since a cut in budgeted corruption will force them to come for the money directly from your pockets. Speaking after the second reading of the Finance Bill 2024, Majority Leader Kimani Ichungwa warned that a decline in […]
The International Monetary Fund has expressed confidence that the running of Project Kenya is still satisfactory, even though the designated manager relocated out of the country. Speaking to higher powers that she must answer to, IMF Mission Chief to Kenya Haimanot Teferra said that Ruto is a regular visitor to Kenya and during his short […]
In an unprecedented event that has left Brits steaming, an American tourist in London was arrested after committing the unfathomable act of attempting to microwave a cup of tea. The tourist, whose name has been withheld for his protection from tea enthusiasts, now faces several felony charges including “Assault on British Heritage” and “Reckless Endangerment […]