Ruto Warns Biden against Rigging the 2024 US Election

Kenya’s president Dr. WIlliam Ruto has cautioned his North American ally President Joe Biden against unlawful practices during the 2024 presidential elections. Speaking before a state dinner with Biden, Ruto said that the United States must uphold the rule of law and conduct free and fair elections, saying that the US should not sacrifice democracy […]


Increase in Road Accidents Attributed to Drivers Trying to Beat GPS Time Estimate

Every day, millions of drivers around the world engage in a dangerous and addictive game: trying to beat the GPS time estimate. The game is simple: enter your destination on your GPS device or app, and try to arrive faster than the estimated time of arrival. Sounds fun, right? Wrong. This game has serious consequences […]


27-Year-Old Entrepreneur Retires After Landing a Job at Quickmart

Local businessman and self-made millionaire, John Mwangi, has announced his retirement from the world of entrepreneurship after securing a coveted position at Quickmart Supermarket. Mwangi, who according to information from Linkedin, started his online marketing agency at the age of 19 and grew it to a multi-million dollar enterprise, said he was ready to hang […]

Education Governance

KMTC to Teach Students How to Migrate to UK

The Kenya Medical Training College (KMTC) has announced a new unit for all aspiring medics: How to Migrate to the UK. The unit, which will be compulsory for all students, aims to equip them with the skills and knowledge needed to pursue a lucrative career in the British National Health Service (NHS). According to the […]


Bill Gates Unveils Plan to Turn Lions into Vegetarians

NANYUKI, KENYA – In a press conference held at one of the conservancies in Northern Kenya, billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates announced his latest project: turning lions into vegetarians. Gates, who has been vocal about the environmental and health benefits of plant-based diets, said he was inspired by the success of lab-grown meat and plant-based burgers. […]


U.S. Says Kenya’s Cobalt Deposits Not Sufficient to Warrant Intervention

WASHINGTON—Expressing frustration over the lack of a viable pretext for military action, U.S. officials confirmed Monday that they were disappointed by the recent discovery of cobalt deposits in Kenya, saying it was not enough to warrant sending democracy to the African nation. “We were hoping to find something more substantial, like uranium or oil, that […]


How to Survive the Second Coming of Donald Trump

The world was shocked when Donald Trump announced his intention to run for president again in 2024, after being impeached twice, banned from social media, and sued by multiple states and individuals. Many people wondered how he could possibly have any supporters left, let alone enough to win the election. But as we learned from […]


Nigerian Immigrants Losing Their Wives to Canadian Casanovas, Study Finds

TORONTO, ON – A new study from the University of Toronto has revealed a shocking trend: Nigerian men who migrate to Canada are losing their wives to the more romantic Canadian men. The study, which surveyed over 1,000 Nigerian-Canadian couples, found that 87% of Nigerian women reported being happier and more satisfied with their Canadian […]


National Anger Up 9% Fueled by Back to School Season

It’s that time of the year again when parents across the country have to face the harsh reality of paying school fees for their precious offspring. After enduring two months of hell at home, many parents are now feeling angry and irritable as they have to fork over their hard-earned cash to the greedy educational […]


Password Reset Requests Skyrocket as Workers Return to Office After Long Holiday

NAIROBI, KENYA—As millions of employees resumed their work routines after a prolonged festive season, IT departments across the country reported a massive surge in password reset requests on Monday. “We’ve been swamped with calls and emails from people who can’t remember their login credentials after spending two weeks away from their computers,” said Patrick Mwangi, […]