SGR to Cut Commute Time to Nakuru by 3 Minutes

The newly launched Nairobi –  Naivasha train service is expected to reduce the commute time between Nairobi and Nakuru by 3.142 minutes. This is expected to be good news to people who regularly commute between the two towns. Speaking during the launch of the Chinese funded SGR train, the minister of transported said that the […]


Kenyans Urged to adopt Standard Gauge Minds

Kenyans have been encouraged to adopt Standard Gauge Minds in order to think through the problems the country is facing. Speaking to residents at the Voi bridge, the government spokesperson said that Kenya would only become a first world country if all the citizens responded to the government’s call to adopt standard thoughts, and take […]


Zebras to Get ID Cards

Plans are underway to give all Zebras national identity cards, in a joint operation by the government and the Chinese Zebra Society. At a joint press conference attended by idlers and non idlers, the government announced this massive project aimed at ensuring that all Zebras are recognized under the Low, and an accurate register of […]


Kenya Ditches Maize as the Staple Food

In an attempt to curb acute food shortage, Kenyans officially dropped maize from their staple food with effect from 1st July. This follows reports that the country has experienced maize shortage 54 times in the last 53 years, and government officials claiming that western governments have conspired with maize to slow down the economic growth […]