The pathologists helps you live your life backwards. Never point your finger at her.
Politics

Kalonzo Finally Relinquishes his Melon Tendencies to join Jubilee

Kalonzo Muskoka has finally come out of his melon shell to join President Kenyatta’s Jubilee coalition, but without formally denouncing the NASA pact. The decision leaves the indecisive soft-spoken political skimmer at an elevated position likely to benefit from either side of the political divide. While affirming this, Kalonzo quoted Chinua Achebe’s Arrow of God

Read more
Governance

Government of Kenya Diagnosed with Amnesia Following Failure to Recall Evicting Residents

A Government wide amnesia has struck the Government of Kenya, making the entire tax guzzling system forget ever evicting any Kenyans in the middle of the night and in the middle of a pandemic. Speaking from a hospital bed, the Government spokesperson Cyrus Oguna said he woke up traumatized that by news that the Government

Read more
Politics

Hatched from an Egg of Impunity, The honest chick Anne Waiguru

The phrase “the end justifies the means” could have made no better sense than yesterday in the senate when a majority of the senators unanimously supported a committee of eleven members to try Anne Waiguru. It came after a majority senator rooted for committee way, citing the ease of bribing 11, compared to 67 demanded

Read more
Politics

‘To be an Earthly Ruler, Invest on Earth as Much as in Heaven’ – Talai Elders.

Recently, the hustler from Sugoi paid homage to the powerful Talai elders in Nandi. Known for their crucial role in anointing kings from the time of Koitalel Arap Samoei, the elders undisputedly holds the key to Statehouse. It is in the public domain that Moi, Kibaki, and now Uhuru were single-handedly installed to the throne

Read more
Social

Kenyans Miss Run-in with the Police, want Curfew Reverted to 7PM.

Roughly a week after the 7PM to 5AM curfew was expanded to 9PM, Kenyans have expressed their dismay with the revised curfew hours. Word on the street is that people are too calm with citizens reportedly bored by the lack of excitement when it’s time to go home. They miss living on the edge, the

Read more
Politics

Kenyan Politician Donates Buckets to Help Constituents Bathe in a Dry River

A Member of Parliament in Kenya, last seen napping in The National Assembly, is under fire after reports emerged that he came to the aid of his constituents by donating buckets in order to avert the dangers of bathing in the river. The gesture came amid protests from the area residents decrying lack of access

Read more
Social

Amerix Named the Leading Cause of Divorce in Kenya

The Division of Family Promotion and Social Welfare in Kenya has named Amerix as the leading cause of broken relationships and divorced marriages, terming the condition as the quest for the Amerix Dream. This comes even as the Judiciary expressed concern over the number of men seeking to divorce their wives over flimsy reasons, something

Read more
Social

American Psychiatric Association Creates Guidelines for Race Dysphoria

Race dysphoria: involves a conflict between a person’s physical or assigned race and the race which they identify with. People with race dysphoria are described as being uncomfortable with the race they were assigned with, particularly uncomfortable with their skin color or being uncomfortable with the expected hardship associated with that race. People with race

Read more
Social

CS KAGWE RELEASES DISS TRACK TO COVID-19

Following the success of his ‘Anybody Can Gerrit’ song with Kenyan-based producer Totsvi, CS Mutahi Kagwe has added yet another song to his musical repertoire in the form of a diss track targeted at COVID-19. Speaking to news stations this afternoon at Afya House, he reported that he was inspired to write the diss track

Read more
Social

President Njugush Signs Executive Order Against Systemic Oppression of Njahi

In a short video clip released to media houses earlier this week, President & Chief Dereva Njugush wa Kababa announced that he would be signing into law an Executive Order to ban against the systemic oppression of black beans, popularly known as ‘njahi.’ HereIf you know, you know.

Read more