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Bucket Full of Stones Found to be More Intelligent than a Kenyan Voter

Researchers at Kenya Medical Research Institute have found out that a bucket full of stones possesses more intelligence than an average Kenyan voter, especially during an election year.

The shocking study was conducted in all the 47 counties in Kenya, where a sample of 3 million voters was used and the level of intelligent compared to that of a bucket that was filled to the brim with stones and rocks collected from the railway track.

The study showed that a bucket could be expected to make a more sober decision on who to vote for in an election better than a Kenyan voter, by considering factors such as the candidate’s policies, track record, integrity, consistency and ability to detect lies from politicians.

All of these were traits that a Kenyan voter was unable to detect. In fact, it was found that the older the voter was, the more they were unable to make rational decision, a stark contrast from stones that seemed to get better with age.

“The stones seem to age like wine, getting better and increasing in wisdom, while the voters seem to get worse when they get older,” said the lead researcher. “This has not been observed anywhere else before.” He added that the fact that they were using ordinary stones collected on the railway tracks means the results would be even more shocking had they used stones collected from prime sites such as in protected national reserves.

Plans are underway to extend the research to other areas apart from voting, such as use of common sense, work ethics, physical fitness and level of happiness. There is already a growing school of thought that thinks the stones might beat Kenyans in all those levels.

The Kenya Medical Research Institute now wants to focus more on researching on stones and scaling back on research on Kenyans, as stones now offer more promising results.