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Governance

Kindiki Announces Capture of the Dreaded Weapon of Mouth Destruction Terrorist

The Government of Kenya has announced the capture of a dreaded weapon of mouth destruction terrorist Gabriel Oguda following a secret national security operation.  Terrorists from the anti-terror wing of the Kenya police swarmed into Gabriel Oguda’s home early Tuesday morning brandishing dictionaries and dangling participles in the hope that the terrorist would not cast […]

Haiti Offers to Send 1000 Gang Members to Rehabilitate the Kenyan Police

“Either we Tax you the easy way, or we will rob you the old way.” – MPs

IMF OK with Ruto’s Regular Visit to Kenya

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Brewing Trouble: American Tourist in Hot Water Over Microwaved Tea in the UK

In an unprecedented event that has left Brits steaming, an American tourist in London was arrested after committing the unfathomable act of attempting to microwave a cup of tea. The tourist, whose name has been withheld for his protection from tea enthusiasts, now faces several felony charges including “Assault on British Heritage” and “Reckless Endangerment […]

Ruto Warns Biden against Rigging the 2024 US Election

Increase in Road Accidents Attributed to Drivers Trying to Beat GPS Time Estimate

27-Year-Old Entrepreneur Retires After Landing a Job at Quickmart

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Religion Sports

Youth Pastor Exposed as a Normal Guy After Football Match

A youth pastor from a local church has been exposed as a normal guy who could play rough, commit fouls, and lie to the referee after a friendly football match with his youth group. The shocking revelation has caused a stir among the church members, who had always seen him as a saintly and gentle […]

New Marathon Rule: Medals for the Best Non-East African Runners

Commander Ng’ang’a: The Prophet Who Wants to Be President

Pastor Ezekiel Threatens to Delete Kenya’s Star Permanently

International

U.S. Says Kenya’s Cobalt Deposits Not Sufficient to Warrant Intervention

WASHINGTON—Expressing frustration over the lack of a viable pretext for military action, U.S. officials confirmed Monday that they were disappointed by the recent discovery of cobalt deposits in Kenya, saying it was not enough to warrant sending democracy to the African nation. “We were hoping to find something more substantial, like uranium or oil, that […]

How to Survive the Second Coming of Donald Trump

Nigerian Immigrants Losing Their Wives to Canadian Casanovas, Study Finds

OpenAI Replaces 700 Employees with ChatGPT

The UN’s Mission to Solve the Mystery of the Missing Socks