International

ISIS Moves on to Other Targets After US Commits to Self-Destruction

The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS) has indicated that it will stop targeting all American interests and instead focus on other viable targets effective today, following the United States’ commitment to self destruction.

Speaking in a undisclosed location within Syria, the ISIS spokesperson said that the organization would no longer engage with the terrorist government of the United States as it had shown commitment to destroying itself from within. They said that the US stood a good chance of totally annihilating itself from the map if it sustained the pressure it was giving itself, thus no need for any action on their part.

The change of strategy means that the US is now free to whatever it wishes in the race to total destruction, including using the nuclear weapons to clear protesters or hellfire missiles to aid delivery of tear gas to protesters.

The move is a severe loss of motivation for ISIS, but they plan to find another suitable target that can draw as much hate and anger as the US, saying that the current targets were not as promising but they have to move on.

Meanwhile, Trump warned that he ahs a big nuclear button which works, and he would not hesitate from using it if protesters forced his hands. He said that although his hands were small, he had figured out how to delegate pressing of the button and any junior intern at the White House.