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Kenyans Miss Run-in with the Police, want Curfew Reverted to 7PM.

Roughly a week after the 7PM to 5AM curfew was expanded to 9PM, Kenyans have expressed their dismay with the revised curfew hours.

Word on the street is that people are too calm with citizens reportedly bored by the lack of excitement when it’s time to go home. They miss living on the edge, the danger, and elevated chills of getting caught violating the curfew.

The rush to beat the curfew is no longer an issue as there is more time for one to get home before it’s too late. A particularly frustrated young man in Nairobi is said to have walked outside of his premises past curfew time with hopes that he might run into the police. The plan was to engage the police in a cat and mouse chase but unfortunately the police were nowhere to be seen and the streets were uninspiringly deserted.

Good Old Days

According to media reports, Kenyans had gotten used to the adrenaline rush when it was time to go home and the possibility of a beat down by the police helped to keep things in perspective. The thought that a beating was on the table at 7:01 was quite stimulating.

In an interview that was too controversial for prime time television, a resident in Nairobi confessed to have stopped abusing certain pharmaceutical products as the only high he needed was a run-in with the police. He is worried he may have to go back to his wayward ways as he finds himself safe at home long before the curfew kicks in with nothing to do.

Some Kenyans are said to have tried to violate the curfew but on the night of the attempted tomfoolery, the heavens opened and a downpour sent everyone scurrying for shelter, cops included. The obviously disappointed would be victims of police brutality begrudgingly abandoned the plans to receive a beating and went home.

“If only things could go back to normal”, lamented a Nairobian as he peacefully walked into his house at 8:00PM, “we would be having all the adventure we need.”

In Mombasa, residents said that the lack of rush to beat the curfew had striped out adventure from their lives, and they now live the usual slow coast life. They begged on the government to do something.

Kisumu residents have also threatened to move to court in order to get their taxes used effectively to chase them home at 7 pm.