Religion

Pastor Arrested for telling Congregation to Shake their Neighbour’s Hand

Officers from the Recce squad swiftly moved in to arrest a pastor who threatened to decimate the whole country by acting as the agent of the deadly Corona virus in Kenya.

The pastor who was giving a sermon titled ‘Be Still and Know that I am God’ had successfully managed to go through the introduction without hitch, save for one congregant who had sneezed at the beginning prompting ushers to rush to his location and baptize him with three litres of Dettol.

However, the pastor got carried away as the sermon got interesting and subconsciously asked the members to shake the hands of their neighbours and tell them that God is the greatest.

No sooner had he said the words than an armed unit from the Recce squad in full combat gear stormed the church and pounced on the preacher who had not realized the magnitude of his crime. So swift was the action that most people claim that they did not see anything, only realizing the pastor was no longer on the pulpit.

Interviewed at a local quarantine facility where he is being detained, the pastor pleaded innocence and said that it was just a temporary moment of madness that drove him to say those dreaded words.
“I do not know what I was doing,” said the pastor while pleading for mercy. “I think I got carried away by the sermon and shouted that unacceptable phrase. I am sorry for what I have done.”

The pastor will be charged with using words of mass destruction, a crime that can lead to life imprisonment in many parts of the world today.

Meanwhile, the National Council of Churches in Kenya has urged all preachers and priests to observe basic hygiene and avoid using words that could destroy the whole country.