Religion

Pontius Pilate Distances himself from Death of Jesus, Claiming he was Washing his Hands due to Covid-7

Embattled governor of the Roman province of Judea has distanced himself from the crucifixion of Jesus, amidst claims from Christians worldwide that he has blood on his hands.

Pilate who is facing several lawsuits for the crucifixion of Jesus denied any involvement in the act, instead blaming the Jews for what happened to Jesus.

It had been claimed that he had washed his hands to imply that the Jews were free to do whatever they wanted with the Jesus, an allegation he viciously denied saying that washing his hands was because of the Covid-7 pandemic that was ravaging the whole of the Roman empire. He claimed that he would have actually used hand sanitizer were it for the fact that some people in the Chinese Han Dynasty were hoarding the much needed raw materials for hand sanitizers.

“I only washed my hands to prevent the spread of Covid-7. You know during the trial I could not even touch my face. It is ridiculous to blame when I was just trying to stay safe. The Jews did it!”

Pontius Pilate is now being accused of anti-Semitism for claiming that Jews had a hand in the death of Jesus, and Christians United for Israel and others are after his neck. It will be interesting to see what happens with the case since some Christians claim that he is guilty, others want him charged for anti-Semitism while others do not even know who Jesus is.

The matter will be heard at the International Criminal Court located in the Lower Lotharingia region of the Roman Empire.