Politics

Sonko: Preexisting Cannabis Made Me Sign the Nairobi Deal

Nairobi Governor Mike Sonko is now blaming a preexisting condition that made him surrender the city to Uhuru Kenyatta.

After some soul searching, the clown governor of Nairobi has realized that it was the marijuana that he smoked many years ago that influenced his decision and now he regrets both the signing and the too much bhang. It is a preexisting condition to every stupid decision he makes.

“I hear that this thing takes seven years to clear from the body and its just 2013 when we used to smoke in the parliament toilets,” said the embattled governor with his eyes very red. “I cannot comment on the exact date when I stopped doing that stuff but I think Statehouse took advantage of that.”

Contrary to what had been reported in the media, Sonko further went ahead to say that he had read the whole document several times but the English was at another level. “You all know that nobody understands legal documents. Even lawyers regularly ask the courts to help with the interpretation. I just signed because when you see a dotted line, you just sign. It could be money.”