Politics Social

State House Kenya Overran by Bedbugs

A silent coup is brewing in Kenya as Bedbugs take control of the most protected building in the whole country.

In what seems to be a well-planned coup, bedbugs started by taking control of strategic estates in the country where they learnt the Kenyan politics, before making a grand match to the State House.

So serious is the problem that Recce Squad have been deployed to fight the tiny army who seem to be very good in close-quarters combat. So far, the bedbugs have experienced very few fatalities while it is reported that several men have been downed by the tiny creatures.

It has also become extremely difficult to host other State leaders at State House due to the international embarrassment that the bugs can cause. A recent head of state who was visited the country recently had to be evacuated when the stay became unbearable, while another one is reported to have carried the creatures home and now they are wreaking havoc in a European country.

One of the guards, speaking on condition of anonymity, told the media that it is hard to fight the army because the bedbugs have become resistant to all known pesticides, and the working solution is physically attacking them one by one. This is a difficult procedure because the bugs prefer to hide in difficult to reach areas.

He cited the case of one presidential escort personnel who had a bedbug lodged in the deep of his pants, and an attempt to hit it with a baton resulted in a medical emergency. If worse comes to the worst, burning down the State house is still an option.