“Venezuelans used Electromagnetic Radiation to Lower Voter Turnout” – Raila Odinga

Raila Odinga has hit out at Venezuelans who cost him an election victory in the 2022 Kenyan General Elections. Speaking after the reality hit that Kenyans opted for a well-known thief instead of him, Raila said that Venezuelans had interfered with voter turnout in his stronghold, giving his opponent William Ruto an easy victory. “We […]


Juliana Cherera warns Against Weapons of Math Instruction

Dissenting IEBC Commissioners led by vice chair Juliana Cherera have raised alarm over the proliferation of weapons of math instruction in Kenya. In statement that was supported by Azimio leaders, the IEBC commissioners warned that many Kenyans were being recruited into the notorious Al-Gebra movement and using calculators to find some dangerous absolute values. “We […]


Government Investigating Rigathi Gachagua’s English at the Deputy Presidential Debate

72% of the government went into a mild coma after it emerged that the man who previously could never make sense while holding a microphone might just have been pretending and saving his English for the Deputy Presidential Debate. Following the debate where Rigathi Gachagua managed to keep speaking for 32 minutes, the government has […]


IEBC Admits that Reuben Kigame Can See Better than the Commission

The Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) has admitted that Presidential Candidate Reuben Kigame who has been blind since childhood can actually see better than most of its commissioners. Speaking after denying Kigame a chance to be on the ballot, the IEBC Dispute Resolution Committee (DRC) said that Kigame needed to be stopped because his […]


Wajackoyah’s PP2 Certificate Questioned

A section of state affiliated civil societies has demanded to see Presidential Candidate Prof George Wajackoyah’s PP2 graduation certificate as an assurance that he is fit to be the president of Kenya. Adding their voice to the ongoing question of degrees, the state affiliated civil societies said that Wajackoyah’s manifesto of bhang and snakes was […]


Wajackoyah’s Rising Political Star Could Force Raila and Ruto to Unite

The political elites might be forced back to the drawing board after it was revealed that the previously unknown Professor George Wajackoyah commands 16% of all Kenyan votes. Both William Ruto and Raila Odinga have expressed concern that the wind of Wajackoyah is blowing wild and they are willing to do everything to stop him […]