Governance Sports

Kenya to Repay Loans with Athletes’ Gold Medals

Kenya in a radical new suggestion is exploring possibilities of paying its high loans by collecting all the gold medals ever won and paying IMF with it. “We are unrivaled in the gold medals won…. Those medals are just not things for decorating bedrooms, they are national treasures.” Kenyan officials think all the Gold medals

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Economics

Kenya to File for Bankruptcy

Kenya is set to become the first country in modern history to file for bankruptcy after the interest accrued from current loans exceed the revenue collected by the government. The situation means that by 2022, all the revenue collected by the government will not be sufficient to pay the interest from the existing loans, leave

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Social

Civil Servant Working from Home Instinctively Leaves Jacket Hanging on Seat While Watching Netflix

Old habits die hard. After the government asked its staff to start working from home, a veteran public servant forgot that he no longer needed to pretend that he is working while binging on Netflix the whole day. The man who has spent his entire career chasing allowances was used to working only when allowances

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Economics

IMF Under Pressure Agrees to Take Brookside Dairy as Collateral for GoK Loan

Kenyans on Social Media have successfully forced IMF to use Brookside Dairy as a collateral for the loans they are about to lend Kenya. Following thousands of appeals on their Social Media page, IMF said that any money they lend to Kenya will be secured using the dairy processing firm owned by the president. Should

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Governance

Sputnik V Okay if Imported by Approved Cartels – MoH

Kenya has once again changed tune on the use of the Russian made Covid-19 vaccine, allowing the use of Sputnik V vaccine only if imported by the right cartel. A directive from the Ministry of Health said that Sputnik V vaccine was welcome in Kenya only if it was imported by the government leaning cartels

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Social

Kenyan Middle Class Adventurists Discover Northern Kenya is actually in Kenya

A section of Kenyan middle class domestic tourists is continuously baffled by discovering that Northern Kenya is actually in Kenya and not “North of Kenya” The discovery has led to increased tourist activities in the north with regular safari trips being organized. At the moment, dozens of Kenyans are talking about Chalbi desert, Marsabit National

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Politics

Uhuru Leads Cabinet in Celebrating the Fools’ Day

President Uhuru Kenyatta today led the Cabinet in commemorating the Fools’ Day at State House Nairobi. The meeting that was attended by all Cabinet Secretaries sort to highlight the role that foolishness plays in the development of the country, noting that foolishness was an integral partner in the running of the great nation of Kenya.

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Social

Kenya Petitions WHO for a Local Covid-19 Variant

A section of Kenyan political class has petitioned the WHO to quickly find a unique Kenyan covid-19 variant. Noting that Kenya was punching below its weight in the pandemic, leaders asked WHO to act with speed and find the Kenyan variant. They said that Kenya had proved its position as a regional leader and thus

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