While just a few days ago Magufuli had admitted that he can actually die and does not fear death, his death needs to be interpreted using the right conspiracy theories. This is especially so considering that in Africa we just can’t allow someone to die without pointing fingers or blaming a certain witch. We also […]
Tag: Tanzania
Magufuli Bows (to Pressure from KoT)
President John Pombe Magufuli, the benevolent dictator who has ruled Tanzania for the last six years, has finally decided to prove Kenyans on Twitter right. Tired of being killed while he was fighting for his life, Magufuli expressed his frustrations with Kenyans in twitter who could hardly let him breathe, let alone breathe his last. […]
Magufuli Launches his Own Mask Brand
Tanzania President John Pombe Magufuli has launched the Magufuli-95 mask – a special mask that will be used in Tanzania. The doctor of Chemistry announced the new perforated masks that are in line with Tanzania’s short- and long-term goals. He also warned that use of imported masks posed serious national security risks to the country. […]
Magufuli Warns that Covid-19 is only Deadly if you Know that you Have it
Tanzania President John Pombe Magufuli has warned that Covid-19 is only deadly when you know that you have it, and the most effective strategy against the disease is to have nothing to do with it. Highlighting the method that the country has used to fight the disease, Magufuli said that chances of one dying from […]
Tanzania petitions United Nations to recognise Tanzanian Kiswahili to decolonize language from Kenya
The Tanzanian Government has today sent a letter requesting that “Kiswahili (Tanzanian)” be added as a language option on mobile phones and internet websites to reduce confusion with Kiswahili spoken in Kenya The delegation from Tanzania has said that many people around the world can only relate their National Language with Kenya and would like […]
How Tanzania Eliminated Covid-19
Very few countries in the world have managed to eliminate Covid-19. Some like New Zealand did it through precision targeting and isolation, and others like Taiwan have an army of epidemiologists who won the war. But it is the unique case of Tanzania that has gotten the world talking. The strategy Tanzania managed to beat […]
Number of People Hospitalized due to ‘Just a Cough’ Spikes in Tanzania
Coughs have become deadly in Tanzania in the past few days, with the number of people admitted in hospital due to ‘just a cough’ rising sharply. The information which is being whispered in hushed tones across Tanzania says that an increased number of people are falling sick and being hospitalized due to a cough. Some […]
Magufuli’s Approval Rating Reaches 102% in Kenya
President John Pombe Magufuli of Tanzania seems to be making it in Kenya as his approval rating reaches an astronomical value of 102%. The man who just three months ago was hated and was ranked very close to cattle and ducks has seen his fortune change and he is now considered a genius. Kenyans now […]
Magufuli Cautions Against Overdiluting the Madagascar Cure
The President of Tanzania Dr John Pombe Magufuli has warned medics against overdiluting the effective Madagascar cure during administration, an act that could render it ineffective against Covid-19. Speaking during one of his regular visits to a lab where he spends 55 hours a week working on his private research projects, Dr Magufuli said that […]
Kenyan Entrepreneurs already Mass Producing the Madagascar Cure
Several Kenyans have been arrested in various stages of either manufacturing, distributing or exporting the Madagascar cure for Covid-19. In Ongata Rongai, two people were arrested with more than 400 bottles of a concoction labelled ‘Madagascar Cure’ with evidence that they had already handled more of that stuff. The two who appeared to have connections […]