Social

Brewing Trouble: American Tourist in Hot Water Over Microwaved Tea in the UK

In an unprecedented event that has left Brits steaming, an American tourist in London was arrested after committing the unfathomable act of attempting to microwave a cup of tea. The tourist, whose name has been withheld for his protection from tea enthusiasts, now faces several felony charges including “Assault on British Heritage” and “Reckless Endangerment […]

Politics

Ruto Warns Biden against Rigging the 2024 US Election

Kenya’s president Dr. WIlliam Ruto has cautioned his North American ally President Joe Biden against unlawful practices during the 2024 presidential elections. Speaking before a state dinner with Biden, Ruto said that the United States must uphold the rule of law and conduct free and fair elections, saying that the US should not sacrifice democracy […]

International

How to Survive the Second Coming of Donald Trump

The world was shocked when Donald Trump announced his intention to run for president again in 2024, after being impeached twice, banned from social media, and sued by multiple states and individuals. Many people wondered how he could possibly have any supporters left, let alone enough to win the election. But as we learned from […]

International

Trump Ready to Convert to Judaism if Mossad Backs Down

Former US president Donald Trump has indicated that he is willing to cede more ground in exchange for forgiveness as it became apparent that Mossad was seriously thinking about him. Following the June 2022 Mar-a-Lago raid by FBI agents that showed that Trump held documents detailing an unnamed foreign country’s nuclear defenses (in the Hebrew […]

International

House Republicans Look to Pass Sex Outside Marriage Control legislation by November

House Republicans will try to advance a raft of sex control bills early next month to solve the problem of unexpected pregnancies following the overturning of Roe Vs Wade. House Judiciary Committee Ranking Member Jim Jordan (R-OH) has called committee lawmakers back from a break to markup sex legislation that combines three separate bills. The […]

International

US to Ban All Public Schools to Curb Mass Shootings

A section of US legislators has a magic wand to end school shootings once and for all. Following a deadly shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvale, Texas, politicians have come together to bring an end to this daily occurrence in the United States. The radical proposal involves a ban on all public schools in […]

International

Biden Begs Taliban not to Destroy the 3 KFC restaurants in Kabul

President Joe Biden has called on the Taliban to avoid bombing, destroying or closing down the three KFC in Kabul as a show of commitment to the country’s shared history with the US. In a cable that was sent to the Taliban, Biden said that both US and Afghanistan have a rich history of shared […]

International

Israel Defense Forces Vow to Stand with Palestinians, Just like Everybody Else

Israel Defense Forces has made a commitment to stand with Palestinian people following the escalation of violence between Palestine and Israel in recent weeks. In an attempt to keep up with the trend where every person and country stands with Palestine, Israeli forces said that they are going to promote a few hashtags and send […]