Politics

Uhuru: ‘I have Done More in 7 Years Than God Did in 7 Days’

President Uhuru Kenyatta yesterday declared that he had achieved more in seven years than what was achieved in the seven days of creation.

Speaking during the Madaraka Day celebration that was literally held in his backyard, Uhuru went ahead to highlight some of the greatest achievements that ‘my administration’ had achieved, which every ‘fellow Kenyan’ should be proud of.

The top seven are:

  • A corruption legacy that will take 70 years to undo, considering every Kenyan owes China over KShs 77,777
  • A dysfunctional health care system that even his close relatives have joined in to fleece.
  • A record unemployment and a promise of no jobs for the 7 million youths who will enter the job market in the seven years.
  • A legacy of dying state corporations that have been milked dry by people whom he has saved by two names in his phone-book.
  • Ill thought out projects that cost billions and achieved nothing. Top of these is the Huduma Number project that costs only 7.7 billion.
  • An enabling environment for ghost projects and under reporting money lost, where the deputy president admitted that only 7 billion had been eaten in some two dams projects.
  • A resilient tax environment where even taxes are also taxed.

These achievements of seven years are a great legacy, and remember in the days of Joseph and Pharaoh there were 7 years of abundance followed by 7 years of scarcity!

To commemorate these seven years, PostaMate is building an Ark, and we will invite a few people to join in.