Politics

Uhuru Planning to Hand Over Key Government Functions to China

Fears that Uhuru is planning to hand over key GoK functions to China have been stoked after a dry run of the takeover was carried out with the Nairobi County Government.

Confirming what political oracles have been saying for several years, the government of Kenya took over the functions of the Nairobi County Government, signalling a trend where the whole government of Kenya could be handed over to China in the next few days. The Chinese take over was also confirmed in some leaked documents which our reporter accessed.

In the Chinese takeover plan, Kenya is described as a slightly used country in East Africa in fairly good condition that has had one previous owner of European descent. The country is described as full of rhinos, elephants, fools and primitive energy that can be harnessed to advance the China Belt and Roads Initiative.

It is also described to have a politically woke population online, but pretty impotent on the ground, thus no major threat posed to the communist way of life. Besides that, the Chinese are relieved of inheriting the national debt, thus guaranteeing them immediate returns. No major opposition could be expected from the unenthusiastic opposition in Kenya.

The China takeover has been in the offing for quite some time now, beginning with handover of several government functions that were secretly but publicly handed over to Chinese government. Currently, China is already running the construction industry in Kenya, the Standard Gauge Railway, determining when and how much loans Kenya needs, correctional services such as disciplining of errant workers and determining when and how Corona Virus will land in Kenya.

Political analysts have been warning that Uhuru could hand over Kenya to China, citing his admission that he was frustrated with the country. Previously, the unmotivated president had publicly admitted that his government is broke, corrupt and all the people are stealing. He even told Kenyans that there is nothing he can do about corruption, a similar reason that Nairobi County was handed over to National Government.

Experts now wants Kenyans to prepare for the transition to China and apply for membership to the Communist Party. “Kenyans must learn to speak fluent Standard Chinese or they will all become Chokora in the new China order,” said devolution expert Kipchumba Murkomen.