IEBC Admits that Reuben Kigame Can See Better than the Commission

The Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) has admitted that Presidential Candidate Reuben Kigame who has been blind since childhood can actually see better than most of its commissioners.

Speaking after denying Kigame a chance to be on the ballot, the IEBC Dispute Resolution Committee (DRC) said that Kigame needed to be stopped because his promise for a better Kenya is not something that the political incumbent could stand.

“The man has a better vision than us; and you know we see better than most politicians. However, he plans to deal with corruption which is the foundation on which Kenya’s politics is built upon. He also wants to empower the poor, undermining support for politicians who depend on the poor to stay in power. He talks about justice and fairness and honestly speaking, Kenya is not ready for such at the moment. He cannot be allowed to run.”

IEBC’s position drew widespread support from all sectors, with most people asking Kigame to focus on his music and leave politics to thieves. “A president who wants to create a functional society is a threat to all of us. Lawyers need a warped judicial system in order to eat. Journalists need scandals in order to remain in business. Healthcare is a big industry which can collapse if public health facilities function normally.”

Kenyans Want a Tested Thief

Others said that Kigame’s vision is too early for its time. “If we do away with corruption, how will governors recover the money spent in campaigns? How will the CS’s raise money for the next elections? Do you expect children of politicians and well connected people to start working for a living? Reuben Kigame has got it wrong.”

How does a blind man see better than a whole IEBC, or even most Kenyans? It is obvious.

“That Kigame is a far-seeing man is not in question. While people with two eyes are busy forging degree certificates, Kigame already has a master’s degree and an ongoing PhD. Your ordinary politicians are busy stealing and shooting people but Kigame can perfectly play a keyboard, a guitar, and even drums. His musical career is a classic example of world success.”

Governance experts also want Kigame to shelf his ambition until a better time. “No doubt that a Reuben Kigame presidency would see corruption better than the past three regimes. However, our founding fathers did not envisage a situation where corruption would not be the driving force of our economic development. Kigame wants to undermine this.”

For now Reuben Kigame will have to fight it out at the High Court, although IEBC wants him to concentrate on music because Kenyans will need it as they undergo the next five years of political abuse.

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