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In a shocking turn of events, OpenAI, the leading artificial intelligence research lab, has announced plans to lay off 700… Read more: OpenAI Replaces 700 Employees with ChatGPT

NAIROBI, KENYA—Lamenting that his once-thriving business of tempting and tormenting humans was now in shambles, Satan announced Monday that he… Read more: Satan Says He Can’t Compete With TikTok And Kenyan Government In Corrupting Souls

In a shocking turn of events, Kenya’s strategic guava reserve has been depleted. The culprit? None other than Gabriel Oguda,… Read more: Kenya’s Strategic Guava Reserve Depleted

In a surprising turn of events, the Ugandan government has been voted the “Most Emotional and Petty Government in the… Read more: Uganda’s Government Voted World’s Pettiest

In a shocking move, King Charles III of the United Kingdom and 15 other Commonwealth realms has expressed his desire… Read more: King Charles III to Relocate to Kenya If Made King

The United Nations (UN) has announced a new initiative to address one of the most pressing issues facing humanity: the… Read more: The UN’s Mission to Solve the Mystery of the Missing Socks

NAIROBI, KENYA—A new study by the University of Nairobi has found that friendships in Nairobi are worthless, and that most… Read more: Nairobi Friends Are Worthless, Study Finds

NAIROBI, KENYA—The Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) announced today that it has hired two construction companies to oversee the controlled… Read more: CBK Hires Two Construction Companies to Oversee the Controlled Demolition of the Shilling

John Smith, a 35-year-old accountant from Kansas City, Missouri, is enjoying a peaceful and happy life because he knows nothing… Read more: The Secret to Peace: A Local Man Who Knows Nothing About the Middle East

Nairobi Water and Sewerage Company (NWSC) has issued a public notice asking residents of the city to refrain from pooping… Read more: Nairobi Water Asks Residents to Stop Pooping in the Morning to Ease Sewer Congestion

The Kenya Kwanza government has issued a public apology for the delay in fulfilling its campaign promise of bringing El… Read more: Isaac Mwaura Apologizes for Kenya Kwanza’s Delay in Fulfilling its Pledge of Causing El Niño in Kenya.

NAIROBI, KENYA – John Mwangi, a 65-year-old father of three, has been struggling with his sugar addiction for years. He… Read more: 65-Year-Old Dad Who Can’t Quit Sugar Wonders Why His 27-Year-Old Son Can’t Quit Alcohol

The National Museums of Kenya has announced that they will remain closed during the entire period of the visit of… Read more: Kenya Museums to Stay Shut as King Charles Visits

In a controversial move, Kenya Airways has decided to charge passengers based on the combined weight of their body and… Read more: Kenya Airways to Charge Passengers by Weight

A youth pastor from a local church has been exposed as a normal guy who could play rough, commit fouls,… Read more: Youth Pastor Exposed as a Normal Guy After Football Match

The International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) has announced a new rule for marathon races starting from 2023: medals will… Read more: New Marathon Rule: Medals for the Best Non-East African Runners

HARARE, ZIMBABWE—In a bold move to combat the rising unemployment rate and the growing bedbug infestation in France, the Zimbabwean… Read more: Zimbabwe Sends 5,000 Jobless People to Fight Bedbugs in France

Pastor James Ng’ang’a, the self-proclaimed commander of NENO Evangelism Center, has announced his intention to run for the highest office… Read more: Commander Ng’ang’a: The Prophet Who Wants to Be President

The government of Haiti has pledged to send 1000 witches to Kenya to help prop up the Kenyan judiciary that… Read more: Haiti to Send 1000 Witches to Help Prop up the Crumbling Kenyan Judiciary

A man from Murang’a County has been fined Ksh 1.5 million by the Data Protection Office (DPO) for posting a… Read more: Man Fined for Posting Girlfriend’s Photo on Social Media Without Consent

NAIROBI, KENYA—In a bold move to increase tax collection and compliance, the Kenya Revenue Authority (KRA) announced on Thursday that… Read more: KRA to Hire an Agent To Live In Every Kenyan Home

In a shocking move, the Kenyan government has announced a new policy that will impose a tax on every fourth… Read more: Government to Tax Every 4th Child in Kenya

YouTube, the world’s largest video-sharing platform, has recently sent a warm reminder to all content creators that it is in… Read more: YouTube Sends Warm Reminder to Kenyan Content Creators That it is in Complete Control of Their Livelihood

A new report from the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics has revealed that millions of Gen-Zers are facing bankruptcy due… Read more: Mutura and Mahindi Choma Addiction Leads to Bankruptcy for Millions of Gen-Zers

In a desperate attempt to boost their dwindling numbers, Harakat al-Shabaab al-Mujahideen, commonly known as al-Shabaab, has launched a new… Read more: Al-Shabab Launches New Campaign to Recruit Short People

NAIROBI, Kenya – A jobless man in Nairobi has decided to take a week off from his daily routine of… Read more: Jobless Man Takes Annual Leave, Says He Deserves a Break

Software engineers are among the most sought-after and well-paid professionals in the world. They create the software that powers our… Read more: Why Software Engineers Have Short Life Expectancy

Embattled millionaire Pastor Ezekiel Odero has threatened to plunge Kenya into an endless cycle of poverty, ignorance, and diseases if… Read more: Pastor Ezekiel Threatens to Delete Kenya’s Star Permanently

Kenya is set to become the first African country to launch its own cryptocurrency, the KenCoin, which will be backed… Read more: Kenya to Launch Its Own KenCoin in Response to WorldCoin

In a shocking twist of events, the leader of the military coup that overthrew the democratically elected government of the… Read more: Military Coup Leader Claims He Was Just Following Orders

The Premier League has announced that it will introduce new rules for the 2023/24 season, aimed at making the competition… Read more: Premier League to Introduce New Rules to Make the Competition More Fair and Exciting

LONDON, UK—A maths teacher at a local high school has boasted that he can solve any equation, no matter how… Read more: Maths Teacher Claims He Can Solve Any Equation, Students Challenge Him With Their Personal Problems

The World Bank has praised the poor countries of the world for reducing poverty by dying, saying that they have… Read more: World Bank Praises Poor Countries for Reducing Poverty by Dying

In a bold move to silence critics and uphold national unity, the government of Kenya has issued a decree that… Read more: Kenya Cracks Down on Police State Allegations with Six Strokes of Cane

Kenya’s first white-turbaned legislator Hon. Eric Muchangi, also known as Karemba, is facing an existential crisis after his church vowed… Read more: Runyenjes MP to be Excommunicated from Akorino Church for Supporting Housing Fund

The Government of Kenya has moved a notch higher in selling the Housing Fund idea, with the Housing and Urban… Read more: Housing Fund Renamed to Mini Tithe to Enhance Compliance

In a stunning display of gratitude towards medical interns, the Ministry of Health has treated them to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity:… Read more: Medical Interns Enjoy 5 Months of Donkey Work Without Pay, Minister Basks in Social Media Glamour

Nairobi, Kenya – In a remarkable turn of events, citizens across the nation have put their cynicism aside and wholeheartedly… Read more: Kenyans show excitement over the Housing Fund, promise to Support Ruto’s initiatives

Nairobi, Kenya – In a stunning display of progressive governance, the esteemed President of Kenya, Dr. William Samoei Ruto, has… Read more: President of Kenya Introduces Groundbreaking Car Purchase Fund: Because Who Needs Shelter Anyway

The Government of Kenya has warned that service delivery may be at risk due to an acute shortage of competent… Read more: Service delivery at Risk as GoK runs out of competent Kalenjins

As the body count rises, many are shocked at how little-known Paul Mackenzie was able to deceive and manipulate so… Read more: 8 Survivors of Pastor Paul Mackenzie’s Cult in Shakahola Speak Out

The Government of Kenya is planning for a national fundraiser to resolve the liquidity crisis that has rocked the East… Read more: GoK Announces a National Harambee to Resolve Liquidity

Bandits in the counties of Samburu, Turkana, Elgeyo Marakwet, Baringo, West Pokot, and Laikipia have opened the door for engagements… Read more: Bandits Call for a more Inclusive Tripartisan Talks with the Government

There was an unusual event on Kiambu Road when a senior DCI agent attached to Pastor James Ng’ang’a of Neno… Read more: DCI Agent Attached to Pastor Ng’ang’a Finally Gives his Life to Jesus

Opposition Chief Raila Odinga has unveiled a plan to recruit 17,000 orcs that will help him get rid of the… Read more: Raila Enlists Army of Orcs to Prop Up Mass Action Threats

The Supreme Court of Kenya recently opened a can of worms after it ruled to allow for the registration of… Read more: Pedophile Association of Kenya gets Supreme Court nod for Registration

The Competition Authority has drafted regulations to control the dominance of the Kamba community in the sale, repair, and distribution… Read more: Competition Authority to Rein in Kambas in Tire Business

The Kenya National Examinations Council has announced plans to drop the use of teachers in marking KCSE exams and replace… Read more: KNEC to Mark 2023 KCSE Using ChatGPT

A crisis is looming in Kenya after the ministry of Agriculture announced the dwindling cabbage reserves – with an eminent… Read more: Kenya to Run Out of Cabbage by January 25

The National Health Insurance Fund has launched a third-party health insurance cover in a bid to attract more Kenyans from… Read more: NHIF Launches Third-Party Health Insurance Cover

The future of cooking looks promising after a student at the famous Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology invented… Read more: JKUAT Student Invents Charcoal that’s 31% Cannabis

A family in Doha, Qatar, can now breathe a sigh of relief after the 32-year-old perfectly healthy and normal son… Read more: <strong>Optimism Rekindled as 32-Year-Old lastborn Starts to Bathe Himself</strong>

It did not come as a shock when Statehouse announced that Ruto had Ex- Kiambu governor Ferdinand Waititu as a… Read more: <strong>Waititu to Move Rivers and Create more Land for Ruto – Statehouse Insider</strong>

The promise of a clean Nairobi might soon be a reality after Nairobi Governor Johnson Sakaja partnered with the ongoing… Read more: Sakaja Banking on Current Short Rains to Clean up Nairobi

Times are tough, so you need to be tougher to survive. He is how? Walk to Work I know we… Read more: Guide to Surviving Tough Economic Times

The number of people sleeping in church marginally declined by 0.6% in the last quarter, reversing a trend that had… Read more: Number of people sleeping in Church marginally declines by 0.6%

A local man is just about to have his financial plans short-circuited after he accidentally unlocked the dreaded third phase… Read more: Local Man Unlocks Dreaded Third Level of Primitive Accumulation of Tools

The Law Society of Kenya has come to the rescue of intern lawyers, popularly known as pupils, following a revelation… Read more: LSK Orders Advocates to Provide Pupils with Transport Brooms

An unlikely victim of inflation and the high cost of living is a familiar figure – roaches. With food rationed… Read more: House Cockroaches Increasingly Starving to Death as Inflation Bites

The World Health Organization’s health systems performance index has placed nurses in Kenya in the 3rd position on the healthcare… Read more: Nurses in Kenya Ranked 3rd Most Cruel in the World

The burden on birth control is about to shift from women to men after scientists got a major breakthrough in… Read more: New Oral Male Contraceptive to be Administered through Free Beer

Machakos County Governor Wavinya Ndeti has banned all payment of dowry activities during the ongoing drought, terming the activity as… Read more: Machakos County Bans Dowry Payment During the Ongoing Dry Season

World leaders attending the ongoing United Nations General Assembly have expressed concerns that Africa is not doing enough to condemn… Read more: Africa’s Apathy Towards European Tribal War Angers European Leaders

President William Ruto has ordered the Kenya Revenue Authority to find a meaningful side hustle to earn money instead of… Read more: KRA to Get a Side Hustle by 2024 – William Ruto

Raila Odinga has hit out at Venezuelans who cost him an election victory in the 2022 Kenyan General Elections. Speaking… Read more: “Venezuelans used Electromagnetic Radiation to Lower Voter Turnout” – Raila Odinga

Former President Uhuru Kenyatta has taken credit for William Ruto’s win, saying that Ruto would not have seen the gates… Read more: Ruto Owes his Victory to my Bad Leadership – Uhuru

Veteran Kenyan politician Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka has expressed interest in succeeding Queen Elizabeth in the Monarchy of the United Kingdom.… Read more: Kalonzo Musyoka in the Race to Succeed Queen Elizabeth

Former US president Donald Trump has indicated that he is willing to cede more ground in exchange for forgiveness as… Read more: Trump Ready to Convert to Judaism if Mossad Backs Down

For the last 12 months, Lucy (not her real name) wakes up at 5 am and leaves her Thika home… Read more: Mom Starts a Side Hustle Just to Get away from Kids

Justice was finally served in the populous Kanagawa Prefecture of Japan after the Yokohama District Court gave orders for the… Read more: Designer of Nissan Juke Finally Euthanized in Japan

Dissenting IEBC Commissioners led by vice chair Juliana Cherera have raised alarm over the proliferation of weapons of math instruction… Read more: Juliana Cherera warns Against Weapons of Math Instruction

Deputy President elect Rigathi Gachagua is off to a quick start, promising to deal with fashion cartels that have kept… Read more: Rigathi Gachagua Vows to Dismantle all Fashion Cartels

Experts have warned that the Competence Based Curriculum (CBC) that is currently undergoing live trials in Kenya is on track… Read more: Kenya’s Education System Set to Collapse on 23rd January 2023

What started as a romantic gesture ended up as a traumatic venture after a man suffered serious burns when he… Read more: Man Suffers Second Degree Burns after sharing Bathtub with Wife

72% of the government went into a mild coma after it emerged that the man who previously could never make… Read more: Government Investigating Rigathi Gachagua’s English at the Deputy Presidential Debate

The world’s richest man and large family ambassador is now shifting his focus on curbing global warming by producing zero… Read more: Elon Musk Doubles Effort on Zero Emission Babies

The Small Claims Court in Nairobi has ruled against a girl who was ‘sent fare’ by a male colleague but… Read more: Small Claims Court Rules Against Girl who ‘Ate Fare’

House Republicans will try to advance a raft of sex control bills early next month to solve the problem of… Read more: House Republicans Look to Pass Sex Outside Marriage Control legislation by November

The Kenya Meat Commission has appointed a renowned vegan (name withheld due to fear of Social Media trolls) as it’s… Read more: Kenya Meat Commission Appoints its first Vegan CEO

The Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission has moved to court to compel a Meru farmer to account for his state of… Read more: EACC Investigates Meru Farmer Over Unexplained Poverty

In 2021, a white man armed with $1m set out to discover cheap foods in Kenyans. Due to cultural blindness,… Read more: Kenya’s Roadside Food Vendors Successfully Take Out Million Dollar Startup Kune Foods

The Kenyan Parliament recently passed the ICT bill that that requires the training, registrations licensing and a standard for practitioners… Read more: Why Kenya Needs the ICT Practitioners Bill 2020

The Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) has admitted that Presidential Candidate Reuben Kigame who has been blind since childhood… Read more: IEBC Admits that Reuben Kigame Can See Better than the Commission

The Engineers Board of Kenya (EBK) has threatened to deregister Engineer Raila Amollo Odinga after it emerged that he missed… Read more: EBK Asks Raila to do 3 Additional Units which he Missed

A section of state affiliated civil societies has demanded to see Presidential Candidate Prof George Wajackoyah’s PP2 graduation certificate as… Read more: Wajackoyah’s PP2 Certificate Questioned

IEBC chair Wafula Chebukati can be trusted to keep a secret, especially if his life depends on it. Following demands… Read more: Chebukati; “Raila’s Degree is a Matter of National Insecurity”

The Government of Kenya has taken steps to bring to an end the problems faced by domestic workers of Kenyan… Read more: Kenya acquires a Morgue in Saudi Arabia to Cater for Murdered Domestic Workers

The political elites might be forced back to the drawing board after it was revealed that the previously unknown Professor… Read more: Wajackoyah’s Rising Political Star Could Force Raila and Ruto to Unite

Members of Parliament in Kenya will get a partial relief from the runaway inflation if a bill proposed by one… Read more: Kenyan MPs to be Paid in US Dollars

The Alchemist Club in Nairobi has issued an apology to all the natives who may have been turned away while… Read more: Alchemist Apologizes to all Natives who have Experienced Discrimination at the Club

A section of US legislators has a magic wand to end school shootings once and for all. Following a deadly… Read more: US to Ban All Public Schools to Curb Mass Shootings

New entrant into the Kenyan presidential race Kalonzo Musyoka has promised the mother of all battles against spoilt votes in… Read more: Kalonzo Musyoka Planning To Give Spoilt Votes A Run For Their Money

Congratulatory messages continue to pour in from different parts of the world following the appointment of Rigathi Gachagua as Ruto’s… Read more: World Leaders react to Appointment of Rigathi Gachagua as Ruto’s Running Mate

Three years after the President of Kenya Uhuru Kenyatta deleted his Social Media accounts, the president now wants incoming Twitter… Read more: Uhuru Asks Elon Musk to Bar Kenyans Under 35 from Twitter

The Kenya National Bureau of Statistics has reported a marginal decline in the number of people willing to reverse the… Read more: Probability of Receiving Back Money Sent to Wrong M-PESA Number Drops to 0.003%

Africans wishing to reside and work in Kenya can now smile after Kenya launched a lottery program that will allow… Read more: Kenya Launches Green Card Lottery for Africans Wishing Live in Nairobi

The proverbial cat with nine lives is back. Martin Wambora has opted defend his seat as the Governor of Embu… Read more: Wambora Rejoins Embu Gubernatorial Race Under a Different Name

President Uhuru Kenyatta has contracted a team of seasoned dowry negotiators to help secure Kenya affordable loans in the midst… Read more: Uhuru Taps Seasoned Dowry Negotiators to Help Secure Affordable Loans

Days after Elon Musk bid to buy Twitter for $43 billion, the council of rich people has made a counter… Read more: Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos Join Hands to Acquire Controlling Stake in Elon Musk

Kenyans using the Nairobi Expressway are expected to pay between KShs 120 and 1800 as toll fees for the road… Read more: How to Evade Toll Charges on the Nairobi Expressway