In a shocking twist of events, the leader of the military coup that overthrew the democratically elected government of the Republic of Bananastan has claimed that he was just following orders from his superiors.
General Banana Peel, who led the coup on Monday, said that he had no choice but to execute the plan that was given to him by his commanding officer, Colonel Chiquita. He said that he was not aware of the political implications or the consequences of his actions, and that he was only doing his duty as a loyal soldier.
Obey First
“I was just following orders,” Peel said in a televised statement. “I did not know that I was overthrowing the legitimate government of Bananastan. Honestly, I did not know that I was violating the constitution and the human rights of the people. I did not know that I was plunging the country into chaos and violence. I did not know that I was betraying my oath and my honor. Was just following orders.”
Peel’s statement has been met with disbelief and outrage by the international community, the opposition parties, and the civil society groups in Bananastan. They have accused him of lying, cowardice, and treason, and have demanded that he and his accomplices be brought to justice.
“General Peel’s statement is an insult to the intelligence and dignity of the Bananastani people,” said Dr. Banana Split, the leader of the ousted government. “He is trying to evade responsibility for his heinous crimes by blaming someone else. The guy is trying to justify his treason by invoking a false sense of duty. He is trying to escape justice by playing the victim. He is not a soldier, he is a traitor.”
Colonel Chiquita, who is believed to be the mastermind behind the coup, has not yet commented on Peel’s statement. He is reportedly hiding in an undisclosed location, surrounded by loyal troops and armed with a large stockpile of bananas.
