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Increase in Road Accidents Attributed to Drivers Trying to Beat GPS Time Estimate

Every day, millions of drivers around the world engage in a dangerous and addictive game: trying to beat the GPS time estimate. The game is simple: enter your destination on your GPS device or app, and try to arrive faster than the estimated time of arrival. Sounds fun, right? Wrong. This game has serious consequences […]

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27-Year-Old Entrepreneur Retires After Landing a Job at Quickmart

Local businessman and self-made millionaire, John Mwangi, has announced his retirement from the world of entrepreneurship after securing a coveted position at Quickmart Supermarket. Mwangi, who according to information from Linkedin, started his online marketing agency at the age of 19 and grew it to a multi-million dollar enterprise, said he was ready to hang […]

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Bill Gates Unveils Plan to Turn Lions into Vegetarians

NANYUKI, KENYA – In a press conference held at one of the conservancies in Northern Kenya, billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates announced his latest project: turning lions into vegetarians. Gates, who has been vocal about the environmental and health benefits of plant-based diets, said he was inspired by the success of lab-grown meat and plant-based burgers. […]

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National Anger Up 9% Fueled by Back to School Season

It’s that time of the year again when parents across the country have to face the harsh reality of paying school fees for their precious offspring. After enduring two months of hell at home, many parents are now feeling angry and irritable as they have to fork over their hard-earned cash to the greedy educational […]

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Password Reset Requests Skyrocket as Workers Return to Office After Long Holiday

NAIROBI, KENYA—As millions of employees resumed their work routines after a prolonged festive season, IT departments across the country reported a massive surge in password reset requests on Monday. “We’ve been swamped with calls and emails from people who can’t remember their login credentials after spending two weeks away from their computers,” said Patrick Mwangi, […]

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Resolutions Inspired Gym Newbies Causing Nightmares

It’s that time of the year again, when billions of people make a vow to get fit and healthy in the new year. But while some of them are sticking to their plans and hitting the gym regularly, others are causing more trouble than they are worth. According to gym owners and regulars, the influx […]

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Whatsapp Status Obsession: Kenyans Wasted a Week in 2023, Study Finds

An average Kenyan spent 7.2 days aimlessly binging on WhatsApp status in 2023, data from the think tank independent Ridgeviews Analytica confirms. In a study that was conducted from January to November 2023, Kenyans again topped the world in social media engagement with TikTok, WhatsApp, Instagram, YouYube, Twitter and Facebook cumulatively taking one calendar month […]

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Kenyan Gen Z Cry Foul as They Discover They Would Be British Citizens If Not for Independence

A shocking revelation has hit the Kenyan Gen Zers hard as they learned that they would be enjoying the privileges of being British citizens if Kenya had not fought for independence from Britain. Many of them are now blaming their ancestors for ruining their chances of living in a developed country with good infrastructure, free […]

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Satan Says He Can’t Compete With TikTok And Kenyan Government In Corrupting Souls

NAIROBI, KENYA—Lamenting that his once-thriving business of tempting and tormenting humans was now in shambles, Satan announced Monday that he was unable to compete with the corrupting influence of TikTok and the Kenyan government in the African nation. “I used to have a monopoly on luring people into sin and evil, but now I can’t […]

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Uganda’s Government Voted World’s Pettiest

In a surprising turn of events, the Ugandan government has been voted the “Most Emotional and Petty Government in the World” by the International Governmental Emotional Quotient Council (IGEQC). This prestigious title, previously held by a small island nation known for its passionate town hall meetings, has now been passed on to Uganda, a country […]