Haiti Offers to Send 1000 Gang Members to Rehabilitate the Kenyan Police

Gang leaders in the troubled Caribbean nation of Haiti have offered to send a strong force of 1000 members to restore law and order in the Kenya Police Service. This comes amid increasing police violence against peaceful protesters in Kenya.

Haitian gang leader Jimmy Chérizier, alias ‘Barbecue’ said that he was concerned about the increasing violence meted against young kids by the police, saying that such evil has never been witnessed since the Japanese invaded China in 1937.

“I have never seen this kind of depravity in my entire life. How do you teargas young kids whose idea of a lethal weapon is a bottle of water? How do you shoot to death a 25-year-old whose worst crime ever committed is disliking a video on YouTube? This kind of evil has never been imagined since the Japanese airforce strafed Chinese farmers for fun.”

Barbecue said his team was willing to send a 1000-strong squad to help rehabilitate the Kenya Police officers from the first principles. “We are willing to help. We will help them understand that arrests, detentions, and force cannot be used on any peaceful protesters, let alone the children. Should they be unwilling to learn, we will adjust the lesson to a language they can understand.”

He further called on Kenyans to maintain peace, adding that those who make peaceful revolution impossible will always end up making violent revolutions inevitable. Asked about the Finance Bill 2024, Barbecue told Kenyans to reject both the bill and the Bill behind it.

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