Kenya’s first white-turbaned legislator Hon. Eric Muchangi, also known as Karemba, is facing an existential crisis after his church vowed to excommunicate him should he support the Finance Bill 2023.
In a dire warning sent after the National Prayer Breakfast, the Akorino church warned that the time for being a true Mukurinu and acting normal was over, and the Runyenjes MP cannot support the Finance Bill 2023 and still continue to act normally.
“Today in parliament we have 348 people and one Mukurino, Hon Eric Muchangi Njiru. What he has on his head is what defines him as Karemba. That white turban means that he has no interest in earthly houses, even affordable ones. That should be very clear.”
The church spokesman said that should Karemba go ahead and support the Housing Fund, they will have no option but to disinherit him from future plans in heaven and let him eat his cake here on earth. “If he wants to support this bill it is okay, but he will need to find an alternative heaven because the Akorino heaven will have no room for him.”
Houses in Heaven
The Akorino faith which is very much focused on the mansions in heaven that Jesus went to build noted that any attempt to get cozy here on earth will not be tolerated and that they have no desire to look forward to promises made by wicked earthly rulers while the one mansion that Jesus promised is enough. The church warned the MP to stick to the straight and narrow and that he should ditch the white turban and identify as a normal politician if he really wanted to support the housing fund project.
“Even in the Lord’s Prayer, we do not say ‘Forgive us our trespasses’ or ‘Forgive us our debts.’ We say forgive us our sins. Trespasses are for those with a lot of property here on Earth. Debts are for those with money. Our focus is on heaven and so we say ‘Forgive us our sins’ because that is what can keep us from heaven. This idea of building houses for us here on earth is from right in the middle of hell. We have neither the desire for houses nor the money to pay for it.”
