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Margaret Kenyatta Launches Beyond Zero Polygamy Initiative

Kenyan First Lady Margaret Kenyatta has launched an initiative to end polygamy in Kenya, arguing that it is becoming a national vice that could affect every single Kenya.

Speaking during the launch of the campaign where she brought together stakeholders to discuss this national vice, the First lady said that Kenya would end up a banana republic if every man was allowed to have a second or even third wife.

“Most men here in Kenya cannot even manage one wife. How do they expect to manage two? We must all join hands and eliminate not only polygamy, but even the thought of it.”

Her sentiments were echoed by various lobby groups which promised to sponsor a Bill that will not only ban polygamy, but will criminalize the thought of the same. “Anybody who will be found secretly fantasizing about polygamy will go to jail. Any man who hints that they can have a second wife will be hanged. Any woman who will offer themselves as a second, third or nth wife will also be executed.”

The First lady insisted that the Beyond Zero Polygamy Campaign was not inspired by her marital experiences, but by a general desire to help the country move away from the retrogressive practice.

The campaign was met with resistance from people who had a complicated relationship with Mathematics where some men argued that there are way too many women than men in the country. “In the last Census, women were found to be 55% of the population while men were about 45%. This means that every man should marry 55 wives in order for the numbers to balance.”

Luckily, there is no need to answer them because those numbers can be solved by Muslims who are allowed up to four wives at a time.