House Cockroaches Increasingly Starving to Death as Inflation Bites

An unlikely victim of inflation and the high cost of living is a familiar figure – roaches.

With food rationed and leftovers vanishing, cockroaches have now been forced to work for their living, a change that many are unable to adapt to.

Entomologists now warn that it might be a few years before we see an insectalypse. “If we do not reverse the current trend, we will see a situation where cockroaches will be wiped off from the face of the kitchen. This will result in an imbalance in the ecosystem, leading to the overpopulation of harmful bacteria, a resurgence of rats, and the eventual death of the human species. The human race cannot stand another bubonic plague.”

Even pesticide manufacturers have felt the pinch. “No one is buying Doom anymore. Cockroaches are now dying of natural causes at a very young age. Our goods are not moving and we have to lay off staff. It is more serious than you think.”

All is not lost

While the cockroach situation in people’s homes remains critical, there is still hope as a huge reserve of cockroaches resides in city garbage. “If we can maintain the level of dirt in our cities, we will be able to survive the current threat to cockroaches that is a result of inflation. We call upon the city councils and government to keep up the filth.”

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